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“Exactly how it sounds,” I replied calmly. “They recruited me to become a Ravager. I start my first trial in two weeks. Please don’t be angry with me, Damien. This was the only way. The best way to get intel required me to—”
My words were silenced by a fast raise of his hand. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to strike me. When it didn’t happen, I cracked open my eyes, witnessing his gaze soften until it eventually spread into a wide, malevolent grin.
“Well fucking done, Samara. I cannot express how proud I am.”
I blinked at him, astonished. Now that, I was not expecting.
“You will complete the trials,” he continued as he rose to his feet, approaching his built-in bar. “Then, once you’re in, you’ll have complete access to them and Xavier Michaelson. I expect weekly updates on your progress in the trials. I have no doubt you’ll succeed.” He paused, thinking long and hard to himself before he turned to face me. “And to sweeten the deal, how about this…”
He grabbed an open bottle of Brandy and reclaimed his seat, smiling at me. “If you pass all three trials and become a Ravager, then consider your third trial complete. You’ll be a double agent. A member of their crew but an Outlaw in secret. You’ll provide me with everything I’ll need to take down Xavier Michaelson. How does that sound, Samara?”
Damien reached out to the table beside him and grabbed two glasses, pouring us drinks.
I accepted it and watched as he tipped his liquor back, his eyes flashing as he awaited my answer.
Chapter 48
Jace
Iwantedtodie.Every night my dreams haunted me. My father’s face. His gun to Vicki’s head. Her screams as I lay on top of her, raping her. The gunshot. Her blood pooling around her lifeless, naked body…
I gushed out a sob, sinking deeper into the dirt.
I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry.
I slid my hand across Vicki’s unmarked grave, hating my entire existence. My tears fell into the dirt the harder I wept.
“Please, Vicki, forgive me. I’m so sorry. I-I wish I could take it back. I never wanted to hurt you. I didn’t want you to die! I didn’t want any of this!”
I’d been there for hours lying at her grave, talking to her, praying she could hear my cries and forgive me for what I did to her. For what my father did to her. It was no use though. She didn’t reply back to me.She never replied.Vicki couldn’t tell me how she felt. She was no more than food for the worms.
I gripped my gun with my other hand, placing to my head the harder I cried. But no matter how long my finger remained on the trigger, I couldn’t squeeze it. I deserved to die, but I was too much of a fucking coward to do the deed myself.
I tossed the gun away from me and jumped to my feet, moving several hundred feet down to the cross I’d planted years ago.
“I deserve to die,” I whispered. “I should be buried right here with you, Mom.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as I thought of her face, recalling the last memory I had of her. Dad killed her years ago when I was just a boy. Mom cheated on him with another man, someone she loved deeply. He killed him too. It didn’t matter that Father was fucking other people. When he learned of her affair, he killed her. Father didn’t know I knew but I did. I was awake the night it happened. I watched him shoot her in the head, then followed him as he dumped her body out here in the middle of fucking nowhere.
“I’m a good person, right, Mom?”
I sobbed harder as I curled up next to the cross, holding onto it tight. “Am I everything you thought I’d be? Are you proud? No, you wouldn’t be, would you? How could you be proud after what I’ve done? I’m no better than my father, RIGHT, MOM?”
I cried harder and harder before rolling over and staring up at the night sky, my face damp with the hundreds of tears I’d shed.
“How could you be proud of an abomination? That’s all I am. I wanted to be good, Mom. I’ve tried. But Dad, he-he…”
I wept harder, unable to get the words out. “And I’m in love too. With a beautiful woman I knew you would’ve loved. Her name is Samara. She’s what lights up the stars every night. She makes me happy. But Dad’s trying to take her away from me too. He wants her for himself. To make her his Queen of his sickening empire he’s shed so much blood to build.”
I froze, wiping away my tears.
“What do I do now, Mom? How can I go on? Please, give me a sign, something. Let me know you’re still here and that you love me and believe in me?”
I closed my eyes, sighing. Who was I kidding? Just like Vicki, Mom was gone. I was stupid to think that…
The sound of my phone interrupted those thoughts. I knew it wasn’t my father calling because I had a specific ringtone for that heartless bastard. It was the chorus toPsychobyMUSE.Right away I fished it out my pocket and answered it without reading the display.
“Jace isn’t here right now. He’s a pathetic bitch crying over shit he has no control over.”
