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Auden’s question bothers me for the next few days. It boils over as I’m sitting by the campfire with Luke, watching Josh try to organize a game of Truth or Dare. I swear, he has the maturity level of a preteen.
“Why do you play hockey?”
“Huh?” Luke glances over at me.
“Hockey—how come you play?”
His brow furrows. “I dunno. Always have, I guess.”
His answer doesn’t surprise me. Luke is easygoing when it comes to hockey. He doesn’t take it as seriously as Oliver and I do, though he also doesn’t goof off the way Josh does and show up to practice late.
“Do you think I take it too seriously?”
Confusion turns to surprise. “I mean…yeah, probably. But you’reElliot Reid. You’ve always had the expectations, the talent. It’s part of who you are. It’d be weird if you weren’t.”
I sigh. “Yeah.”
“You asking ’cause of Auden?” I cock one eyebrow, and Luke snorts. “Come on, Reid. You two were all over each other on her last visit. You wouldn’t have gone there unless you like her a whole heck of a lot.”
“I’m gonna lose her. I can’t half-ass it. If I tell her I’m in, I have to make room. I can’t be selfish and push everything else out of the way. I can’t be the most dedicated player out on the ice anymore, and I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You could probably play in half the games next season and still get drafted number one.”
“Yeah, right. Carrington is spending the summer at some Russian camp.”
Luke whistles at the mention of my main rival. We’ve faced off a few times at national clinics we’ve both attended. I’m better by him, but not by much. “Can’t you just talk to her? Explain?”
“She knows how important it is to me—whyit’s so important to me.” Shock passes across Luke’s face. I rarely—and by rarely I mean never—mention my father, even indirectly. “I can’t ask her to put her life on hold for a year.”
“I don’t think you’d need to ask, Reid. She’s just as crazy about you—has been since you walked into that coffee shop. She didn’t give Josh a second glance. I don’t think anyone is under any delusions why she’s visiting Canmore each summer, either.”
“We’re friends.”
“That’s it?”
“I don’t want to be that dick who jerks a girl around, who never shows up when he says he will, whocan’tshow up because I’ve got two practices, a film review, and a team meeting that takes all day. I want to be selfish and not feel guilty about it.”
“So…stay just friends, then.”
“I’m not sure if we can, if we will. Too much has happened.” Namely of the sexual variety, but I don’t say that. Based on the smirk that passes across Luke’s face, he realizes what I’m talking about anyway.
“She knew what she was getting into with you. It’s not like you haven’talwaysbeen this crazy uptight hockey general.”
“I’d say it paid off. We won the championship—twice. I got my scholarship.”
“Yep. Yet you’re sitting here, asking me if you take hockey too seriously.” He pauses, and I realize the reason for his hesitation when he speaks again. “Do you love her?”
I’m not thetalk about my feelingstype. He’s likely worried I might lose my shit. I plan to hedge or tell him it’s none of his business. Instead, what comes out is “Yeah.”
It surprises him as much as me that I’d admit it—although I don’t think I’ve done a great job of hiding that I feel that way.
“So, tell her.”
“I’m not sure if I should.”
“Look, she knows how you are about hockey, right?” He pauses, waiting for me to respond.
“Yes.”
