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“Yeah,” I say dispassionately.
“Hey, you know, Keith has been asking about you. And you know what they say about falling off the horse… Or about the best way of getting over one man is to get under another one.”
I shake my head. My heart aches at the thought of being intimate with anyone other than Kohl. For a time, he had possessed me completely. My body, my mind, my heart. Maybe in some ways he still has that hold. He’d wrapped his will around me like a thick blanket, and it will take time to find my way out again.
Our connection had run deep. Or, at least, I thought so.
I glance at Sam, uneasy with the way this conversation is heading, so my gaze drops to the sidewalk. In the past three days, Sam has tried to set me up with five different men. I think she’s feeling guilty and a little too eager to throw me at the feet of any semi-attractive guy who might lure my thoughts—my obsession—away from Kohl.
I clear my throat. “I forgot—I need to stop by the bursar’s office. I’ll see you over at the lab.”
Sam turns to me, reaching out a hand. “Mads, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“
“Sam,” I say firmly. “I’m fine. Really. I’ll see you in a bit.”
She squints at me, not at all convinced. “Okay.”
I turn on my heel and head into the bursar’s office to talk to someone about my account. In just a couple of days, my tuition payment will be delinquent. Weeks ago, I had quit the coffee shop at Kohl’s insistence in order to to be “available” for him. Naturally, they have since found a replacement. The money from my graduate work was barely enough to cover my rent and food before. There’s still the matter of tuition, books, and living expenses. At a place like Caltech, none of that comes cheap.
The woman at the front desk of the bursar’s office looks up at me from behind her computer in that impatient way that makes me feel like a nuisance.
I smile despite my nervousness. “Um, hi, can I speak to someone about my account?” I manage to get out. “It looks like I’ll be a bit short this month and need to talk to someone about a payment schedule.” I’m not even sure if that’s an option, but I’m desperate.
“Name? Student ID?”
I give her the necessary information, and her nails click feverishly on the keyboard before coming to an abrupt stop. She squints at the screen, clicking a couple times before looking up at me through her glasses. “You’re all set.”
I blink, a little confused. “I’m sorry? What do you mean I’m all set?”
“Your tuition has been paid in full. There’s two hundred and fifty thousand dollars in your account.”
My jaw drops. Wait, what?
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand—two hundred and fifty thousand dollars? From whom?”
It couldn’t have been Kohl, could it? Our contract was voided, all connections severed, as with all agreements. Your body for my money. And since were were no longer...
After a couple more clicks of her mouse and some squinting, she replies, “We received payment from Mr. Kohl last week.”
Last week. After our split.
“Oh.” I reel a bit, shocked. “Okay, thanks.”
As I walk out of the bursar’s office, my mind is spinning. Why would he pay my tuition? He had no obligation to pay for anything after the termination of our relationship—the contract made that clear. So why, then? Could he still have feelings for me? Was this his way of reaching out and apologizing?
Maybe I should text him…
My phone is out of my pocket and in my hand before I realize what I’m about to do. Sam’s news, he’s interviewing for another mistress, rings through my mind, and I angrily shove my phone back in my pocket.
Knowing Kohl, he’d probably paid me off out of guilt. Because despite what people may say about him, I know he has a heart. Even if he does his level best to keep it locked up tight…
As the weeks slowly crawl by, I settle into a new normal without Kohl. I pour myself into my classes and my projects, but Kohl is never far from my thoughts.
There are some nights, I swear, I can still taste him on my lips. I can still hear his voice, deep and commanding, coaxing me to climax. I can feel his hands gliding across my skin…
And as much as I want to forget, he’s branded in my memory. He’s a part of me, a part of who I’ve become.
I’m in the lab when Keith walks in looking as confident and handsome as ever. He smiles at me and leans against the worktable that I’m currently hunched over.
