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He shrugs. “She ain’t waitin’ on me.”
Ava pushes off my car when she sees me approaching, her arms going around her waist. A few spots over, Trevor’s in his truck, his eyes on me. Heavy-hearted, I motion toward him. “You bring a bodyguard?”
Ava’s looking down at the ground when my gaze moves back to her. “He’s just waiting to give me a ride home.” Then she notices my hand, and hers reaches across, taking my wrist in her grasp. “What happened?”
I lower my hand so my fingers graze hers, taking hold of them. I say, my voice weak, “A wall came at me. I had to protect myself.”
She looks up now, her eyes clouded. I squeeze the ends of her fingers, and it’s as if she just realized I was holding on to her. She yanks out of my hold, hiding her hands in the pockets of her blazer. My throat closes in, my stomach twisting. Through narrow airways, I let out a breath and say, “I was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you. There’s a lot I need to say.”
“Me too,” she rushes out. “And I need to go first so that I don’t…” she trails off, and I nod, my eyes on hers, my entire everything drawn to her.
She glances at Trevor, as if needing the courage, then back at me. “When we first started this, I warned you that nothing good can come of it. That there’d be no happy ending to our story…”
“Don’t, Ava,” I plead. “You’re talking as if it’s over.”
“It is over, Connor.”
I laugh once, incredulous, and look past her. “So I make one mistake, and that’s it? You’re done?”
“You didn’t make any mistakes,” she sighs out. “But we never should’ve started anything to begin with. We were so selfish to think that it would work.” She pauses a beat, her voice dropping when she adds, “I wasn’t made for this.”
“For what? To be with me?”
“No.” She takes a step toward me. Just one. But keeps her eyes downcast. “I wasn’t made with the strength to do it all. Taking care of my mom is as much as I can do, and even then, I’m already spread so thin. You told me the other day that you were at your limit, and I think I passed that point a long time ago, Connor. I can’t be trying to take care of her and trying to be focused on you and being insecure about us all at the same time.”
I kick off my car, take one step forward and retake her hand. “You don’t have to be insecure about us,” I plead. “Nothing happened with Karen. I swear it, Ava.”
Her eyes lift, lock on mine. “Then why did you lie?”
“About what?” I ask, even though I already know. So does my heart, because it’s trembling in my ribcage.
“You’re the only one who left with her. And you weren’t home at midnight, Connor, because I was banging on your window—” Her voice wavers and she clears her throat. “If nothing happened,” she says, tears welling in her eyes, “then why lie to me?”
I shake my head, sniff back the burn behind my nose, and look down at the ground, shame forcing my shoulders to drop. “Because I didn’t want you to worry,” I admit. “Clearly, I had my priorities wrong.” I swallow the knot in my throat and peer up at her again. “But this isn’t your reason is it, Ava? It’s your excuse.”
Her sob has me looking up, watching her wipe at her eyes frantically. “It’s too hard,” she cries out, her entire presence shrinking with defeat. “I can’t…” The weight of her cries halts her words, and I exhale, wait for her to finish. “I can’t be the person I want to be when I’m with you. I can’t forget that… that my mom needs me more than I need you. And I did that. For one split second, I forgot. Because I love you, Connor. And I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you…” She falls into me, her arms going around me, holding tight. “But I can’t be with you.”
I take in her words, breathe them into me. “You were my end game,” I whisper, knowing she can’t hear me through her cries. I wipe the wetness off my cheeks against her hair and clutch her head to my chest, her ear to my life source.
She quiets her sobs.
Waiting.
Listening.
But she won’t find what she’s searching for.
Because: “There’s no magic in a broken heart, Ava.”
first and forever
HEARTACHE DUET BOOK 2
For my tribe
“I did it for you.”
ONE
