AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"I'm glad you told me about it. I only wish I had been here. Why didn't you write me, and let me know? I'd have come, Lilly. You know I would have."
"You couldn't have done anything either." Lilly protested.
"I could have been here for you." He countered. "I'd have married you Lilly."
"And that's so like you Cord," she smiled up at him. "Wanting to save any and everyone." Lilly's head jerked up, and a look of surprise stared at him. She reached for his hand.
" Until you left, you were here for me. I appreciated that. You were the best friend I ever had, Cord. And obviously from my stunning admission, you still are. The only reason anyone in this lousy town called you wild was because I hung around you all the time. I didn't have any better sense."
Cord wrestled with her words. Friends? After that kiss he wasn't sure he considered her just a friend. He couldn't put a name to it yet. Or maybe he was afraid to. He'd never really had a special girl of his own. He'd had women, but they weren't the kind a man would marry.
She looked down now. "So tell me, what have you been doing?" She asked curiously.
He stared at her now. "I joined the confederacy when I left here. It was a bloody war, Lilly. I joined late, but it was in time for a few big skirmishes and enough to make me sick of war. And when it was all over, I felt so out of place, so lost. I'd seen so much death, so much need
less dying. I figured Ma was better off alone than with me. It messed me up a little. I don't know what I was thinking when I joined. But killing didn't come easy. I don't know why God saved me and let those other kids die. But I'll never forget it, Lilly. Never! There were so many days I had wished I had died. Our shoes and boots gave out, we went barefoot a lot, and we walked for miles, Lilly. In the winter we nearly froze. The south didn't have the fancy uniforms like the north. At least not enough for the regular enlisted men."
She stood up and went to his mother once more staring at her.
"She missed you every day you were gone. The town was very cruel to her. It took a while for them to get over losing Dubs. At least until his sons started coming to town once a month and doing everything but burning it down. Then people started looking at them differently. For years they pitied those boys, being orphaned. And…they blamed you. But they grew up mean. Meaner than Dubs himself. That's when the town started rethinking Dubs and his sons. It took years for this town to see what Dubs had done to them. And now they live with the shame of it, and hide their faces from strangers.
"If that's so, why didn't they look at me when I rode in?"
"They were too ashamed. It took them years to admit they'd been blind, it will take another few years to admit they were wrong and go on with their lives."
"The people in the streets wouldn't even look at me. They still blame me for his death…"
"No…no they don't. They just feel guilty now. Guilty that they blamed you, and that they were wrong about Dubs."
"Did the Dubs boys ever bother you?" Cord asked.
"No, I'm trash according to them. The good women won't talk to me because I had a child out of wedlock. But they fear me. A lot of people fear me. I pulled a gun on the Dubs boys. And every time they tried, I'd remind them that I was trash. It kept me safe, calling myself trash. After all, I was an unwed mother…in a town of righteous people."
Cord hung his head. "Where's the kid now?"
"In school. I gotta be getting back soon. I just wanted you to know that some of us are glad you are home. I say some, because the ones that feel so guilty are having a hard time facing it."
"It doesn't matter; I probably won't be here long." Cord told her.
Her head shot up and the tear escaped down her cheek.
God, she's beautiful. But surely she didn't care whether he stayed or left. Did she?
"You look good Cord." She smiled. "You grew up to be the man I knew you would. I wish you'd stay, but with the Dubs boys here, maybe it is best you leave. Less trouble that way."
"You look good too Lilly. Really good!" His eyes met hers. "Bring Charlie to the funeral tomorrow. I'd like to meet him."
"Sure…" She got to her feet and headed for the door once more. "You know, your mother loved Charlie. Said he reminded her of you."
"I'd really like to meet him Lilly…. And thanks…" Cord whispered right behind her.
She whirled about and almost fell into his arms again he was so close. "For what?" She asked breathlessly.
"For the welcome…" He smiled sexily at her.
A slow, sad smile broke across her face, and it was like letting the sunshine in the dreary room. "See you tomorrow…"
He couldn't remember ever being effected by a woman's smile before. Some of the cold in Cord's heart began to melt. And a simple smile from Lilly melted it.
