Page 37 of Suck It Up


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I think back to that night, to Juliet filming everything they did to me. He wouldn’t have shown Trent, would he?

Would he?

"He was a good choice to pop your cherry, I'll give you that. I'm sure he wasnice. Gentle." His gaze rakes over my body, heated, unrelenting.

Camden wouldn’t be nice or gentle if I let him touch me.

Which Iwon’t.

"But you and I both know gentle isn't what you crave."

"You don't know anything about me, Camden, not matter how many investigators you hire to spy on me."

"I know you loved sucking three cocks at once. I know it scared you. I know you'll do it again, once you process everything. Because it'sfun."He stands up and leans forward, his face almost level with mine. “And I’d very much like to be there when you do.”

He’s so very close to my lips. I brace myself, preparing for him to close the distance.

But instead, he just leaves.

ChapterNineteen

I spend the rest of the week revisiting Camden’s parting words, again and again, and panicking about his meeting with Trent.

Camden wouldn’t have shown him the video. He just wouldn’t, for the same reason why I haven’t woken up to it being plastered everywhere online.

It’s his one power over me, the card he needs against me to make sure I don’t use whatIhave on his friends. He won’t risk it just to mess with my relationship.

After my shift ends at six, I head home to rest, but only manage to lie on my back and think.

He's so wrong.

He's so right.

I…likedit. I'll never do it again.

That one time with his friends was enough to change me and I'm too scared of who, ofwhat, I might become if I go down that road again.

I have to get ready for my English class, though I'm exhausted. I sit up and drag my feet to the bathroom.I hate that I touch myself in the shower. I hate what I think about—what I remember—when I do.

“What do you want now?”

“Right now? A taste of tits.”

His mouth on me. His hands. His—

I come and wash away the shame along with the sweat.

The first English class is, mercifully for my drained mind, not as engaged as the natural science one was. I couldn’t have handled using my brain today.

Professor Hale introduces himself, runs through our syllabus, and reads from a manual word for word, his voice dull and dispassionate, before letting us go.

He’s clearly not the best teacher. At least attendance isn't required, so if he continues to be boring, I’ll just study at home and submit my work. I can't imagine I'll go to a lot of his classes if all he does is quote what I could read through on my own.

The house is still quiet when I get back, so I log into the college interface and start on the English course, Camden's critique never far from my mind.LACC is a respectable school, but mediocre seems to perfectly apply to this class.

He was right, of course. Ididapply to a number of colleges, but a full scholarship was essential, and I didn't get one. MIT accepted me and I qualified for a partial grant. I wassotempted, but no matter how many times I ran the numbers, I just couldn't reasonably afford the expense.I was trying to decide what to do in June.

I think that’s what Erica never understood—and the reason why she still persecutes me by phone to get to the bottom of what happened. She figured I’d decide to take on debt for the right school, and we’d go to MIT together. Instead, I’m doing community college.

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