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It wasn’t the response I was expecting after my soliloquy, and I frown.
“Ok what?” I ask.
“Ok, let’s say fuck it and give us a go,” she says. “But I really want us to take this slow Tyler. I know right now the thought of us falling out seems ridiculous, but it can happen and if it does, I want to get ahead of it and leave us in a place where we can still work together.”
“I get that,” I reply. “We can take things as slowly as you want to. I don’t want to rush into anything myself. I think if it’s meant to be, we have forever so there’s no rush. And if it isn’t meant to be, we can enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.”
Summer smiles and sips her coffee.
“One more thing,” I say. “I’d prefer it if we didn’t make it public knowledge at work just yet. Not until we’re sure we’re in it for the long haul. I don’t think there’s any need for us to be hot office gossip until we know for sure it’s going to work.”
“I agree,” Summer says.
I go over to her and kiss the top of her head.
“You realize us getting dressed was just a waste of time right,” I say.
Summer laughs and nods her head. I bend down and pick her up. She squeals playfully as I carry her back to the bedroom and kick the door closed behind me.
8
SUMMER
THREE WEEKS LATER
“Remind me again why I let you talk me into this,” I say as I lace up my ice skates.
“You’ll love it,” Tyler says, smiling at me.
I don’t think I will love it. In fact, I think I’m about to make a massive fool of myself, but when Tyler suggested coming ice skating, I couldn’t resist agreeing. At the time, I saw us in my mind, hand in hand, bundled up in gloves and scarves and mitts, sipping hot cocoa and gliding gracefully around the outdoor ice rink in the park, our breath forming white clouds before us. What I didn’t realize was that Tyler didn’t just mean it for some point in the future when the winter rolled around. He meant it for today, a normal Sunday morning at an indoor rink where there are no cute hats, gloves and scarves and no graceful gliding. I’m guessing the concession stand might sell hot chocolate but I’m only going to spill it if I even attempt to skate with it in my hand.
“I honestly can’t believe you’ve never been ice skating before,” Tyler says.
“Even as a teenager I valued my pride enough not to attempt something that meant balancing on something so slippery with something so thin,” I say.
Tyler laughs and stands up from the bench we’re sitting on. He holds his hand out to help me up. I take it and he gently pulls me to my feet. Walking in the skates is a bit strange but I have walked in stiletto heels all my life so I can cope with that. It’s the ice I’m dreading. Tyler leads me to a gap in the barriers that circle the ice rink. He steps onto the ice and turns back to me. He takes my other hand in his other hand.
“Ready?” he says.
I want to say no I’m not ready, I will never be ready. But I don’t want him to think I’m boring and I know if I say I’ll just watch, he won’t bother skating himself and I will feel like I’ve ruined what was going to be a good day. I nod my head and tighten my hold on his hands as I step onto the ice. Tyler laughs and looks down at our hands, I have him in so much of a death grip that my knuckles have gone white.
“I’m not going to let go of you,” he says, still laughing. “You can relax your grip a bit.”
I try, I really do, and I think I do release him a little bit.
“Ready to try and skate?” he asks.
I shake my head and he laughs again.
“Come on Summer. What’s the worst thing that can happen?” he asks.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I say. “I could fall over and show myself up in front of everyone.”
“So what?” Tyler says. “So could I but it’s not going to stop me from having a good time. It’s not like you’re going to see these people again, is it?”
When he puts it like that, I can hardly argue with him, and I try again to relax a bit. Tyler smiles at me.
“Right,” he says. “You hold onto the side and watch me, and I’ll show you how to skate.”
