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“I’ll always be there for Legs,” I say staunchly. “I won’t let her go through what we did with Dad.”
“But she’s not your daughter, Liam. She’s my daughter. And while I so deeply appreciate everything you’ve done to give her a father figure, I’m telling you that spending your entire life trying to make up for something that she doesn’t even remember is not going to help either of you.” Lana Mae is the fiercest I’ve ever seen her. “You are nothing like Dad. Never have been, never will be. And I’m so thankful that she has you to look up to as an example of what to look for in a man.”
She jabs me in the chest again. “But that means puttingyourselffirst every once in awhile. The best thing for Allegra is for her to see you happily married with a wife you adore, and hope that one day she can find a good man to marry, too.”
My head is spinning. I’ve never thought of it this way. Never taken a moment to consider that prioritizing my own happiness could contribute to fulfilling the needs of others, too.
“And if Annie is that woman for you, you need to be there forherfirst. Whatever this is she’s dealing with right now. Not to save her, but to support her.”
“What’s with all the commotion?” I look up to see Luke striding towards us, bow tie hanging loose around his half-unbuttoned dress shirt.
“Annie left and Liam didn’t go after her.”
“WHAT? WHY?”
“That’s what I said!” Lana Mae crows.
“It’s your wedding, Luke, I couldn’t leave.”
Luke rolls his eyes dramatically. “No offence, little bro, but if this was your wedding and Mindy left, I’d go after her. I love you and all, but I love Mindy more.”
His words are an icy bucket of water of realization.
How on earth could I have let her leave?
“Liam,” Luke goes on. “You do know that you owe us nothing, right? Literally and figuratively. I invested in SITL because I believed in it. Believed in you. Not because I wanted to have something to hold over you. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re indebted to me. Whatever happens with the funding, I don’t give a damn. I love you and all I want is to see you happy.”
This touches my heart. Love isn’t about paying back dues, or keeping score, or penance for things you wish you’d done differently. It’s about not only forgiving others for being imperfect sometimes, but letting them forgive you for the same. I may not have always been there for my family, but I’m here now. And I’m forgiven. And my happiness is important, too.
Annie is my happy. The love of my life.
Real love, love that makes you lose sleep, love that makes you say and do crazy things, love that makes you crave a person like a drug every time they’re not near, that type of love only comes around once in a lifetime.
I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that slip through my fingers.
“Um, hey guys?”
“Yes?” my siblings chorus.
“Two things.” I clear my throat. “First of all, thank you. Secondly, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go. Like, now.”
Luke raises his eyebrows smugly. “It’s about time, idiot.”
48
ANNIE
“Excuse me. Sorry. Coming through. Pardon me.” I repeat the words flatly as I move down the center aisle of the train, trying my best not to whack all the unfortunate aisle-seaters with my duffel bag.
I’m right on time for this particular form of public transit. Nice to see I’ve finally broken the habit of a lifetime.
Unfortunately for me, though, when I get to my designated seat, I discover that there is no handsome, grumpy stranger next to me. Instead, there’s a teenage boy with his finger up his nose.
Charming.
I sink into my chair and rest my head in my hands, breathing in the cold, stale AC that’s blasting on me as I gather my thoughts. Or try to.
Since I left Liam at the ranch, since I ran away from the person I loved with no explanation, my head has been a jumbled mess. Forget coloring outside the lines, my mind is one big scribble.
