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Should I have told him? Let him help?
I so badly didn’t want to heap yet another responsibility on his shoulders, give him yet another problem to solve. But not being honest with him feels wrong.
Across the aisle, a pair of elderly ladies are drinking tea and reading Danielle Steel books. They remind me of Rosemary and Mildred, from the very plane ride that brought Liam and I together. The thought of them makes me smile despite myself.
Until that day, I never believed in wonders of the universe or fate or stars aligning. Thought it was all nonsense.
But now, I believe that everything happened that day for a reason.
I was meant to meet Liam. It’s so clear to me that we’re meant to be together. And I’m going to do everything in my power to fix this mess. Beating myself up about what I did in the past isn’t going to help me right now, nor Liam. I need to take action, move past it. I quoted Brené Brown about this very thing recently when I was talking to Liam—“regret is necessary to facilitate change and growth.”
When I really think about it, my regrets have shaped change in me that was good. Healthy.
And that change in me is what’s empowered me to take action instead of wallow.
The thought is empowering: in this life, we’re not summaries of our mistakes. We’re merely shaped by them.
And what my past has shaped me into is someone who fights for who and what they love.
The train lurches into motion and a static-y crackle over the intercom announces that we’re on our way.
I gaze out the window as the dark, shadowy scenery beyond the train begins to move.
There’s a rustle of movement in the aisle as someone makes their way to their seat. Must’ve made the train just in the nick of time. Been there.
“Sorry I’m late.” The voice comes from somewhere above me. “I’d say it was because a squirrel broke into my car, but it’s actually because I was busy being the biggest idiot on the planet.”
It’s a deep, achingly familiar voice that makes me turn in my seat.
“Liam?” I can hardly believe it. But there he is, still in his freaking tuxedo, lurching and wobbling in the center aisle as he tries to stay balanced with the train’s jerky movement. As usual, he is a sight to behold. “What are you doing here?”
“Taking a train to…” He pauses and squints at the little screen at the end of the train car. “Wait, Hartsfield-Jackson? We’re going to the airport?”
Before I can reply, he slides into the empty seat across from me. Eyes the teenage nose-picker. “Hey, dude. Wanna make fifty bucks in five seconds?”
The young guy’s face lights up. “Bruh! Do I!”
Liam hands him a folded up bill. “I’ll pay you fifty dollars to go sit somewhere else.”
“Dude, why would you do that?” The boy snatches the money in awe. “There are like a hundred empty seats.”
Liam doesn’t take his eyes off me. “It’s part of my grand gesture… I need to show my girlfriend I love her. That I’m always here for her. And, you see, it all started with a seat swap.”
There’s a bubble in my chest, getting bigger by the second.
The kid doesn’t need to be told twice. He beams at Liam, grabs his bags, and is gone in a flash.
With a satisfied nod, Liam moves to sit next to me.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi yourself,” I reply, the memory of our first kiss tingling on my skin.
“Annie, I don’t know where you’re going or what you’re doing right now, but I know that I want to be by your side for the journey. Whatever that looks like.” He stops. Smiles. “It was a mistake not leaving with you tonight, because being by each other’s sides, through good and bad, is what comes first. It’s what you do when you love someone.”
Everything in my body is warm. Soft. Swirling with emotions.
But I have to tell him the truth.
