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“It’s okay.” Nick smiled, revealing those gorgeous dimples he kept hidden too often.
She exhaled. “I guess I haven’t had a lot of space for it to be okay or still for a while. Do you really have a dungeon in this condo?”
Nick laughed. “No. That’s my tech room. I’ll show you tomorrow. But I am a Dom and a member of a private BDSM Club.”
Flutters exploded in her tummy. “Okay.”
“What’s your experience with playing?”
She twisted away in her seat for a moment. Then sipped her hot chocolate. She knew he wasn’t going to let it go.
“I always liked…the idea of someone watching me, and I tried it out with an ex-boyfriend.”
“Like, when you were in high school?” The disgust in his tone made her smile.
“Senior year. It was okay, but I wanted more,” she spun the mug in a small circle on the table. “After the kidnapping, months after it happened, I hired a pro-Dom through an agency. I wanted to be touched by someone, but I don’t know why. But I didn’t want to have a random hook-up or something because I didn’t want anyone to know it was me.”
“The media was very intense.”
“Yeah, Grace had just finished that blockbuster movie. Anyways, more than wanting to be watched, I wanted to be beaten. Like, I wanted someone to punish me, and I wanted to feel pain that I controlled.
She stared at her hands, not wanting to meet Nick’s eyes, not wanting to see pity there.
“But then, through working with the pro-Dom, I explored exhibitionism, understanding how much I liked it. The experiences helped me heal and reclaim myself. I asked them to take photos and recordings of the sessions. Eventually I added two more people, two other pro-Doms.”
She bit her lip, having run out of words and feeling deflated. This was a secret she’d been carrying around, not telling anyone.
“Mulberry, open your eyes.”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Yes, ma belle, open your eyes.” His rich, smooth tone wrapped around her like reassurance.
Slowly she opened her eyes to see Nick on his knees in front of her chair.
“What happened to you wasn’t your fault, and however you dealt with it is fine. Thank you for telling me that.”
“Nobody knows,” Mulberry whispered.
“You’re such a strong girl.” Nick stroked her hair, and she leaned into his touch.
“But you know, I am going to ask you about this agency and these pro-Doms. They need to be checked out.”“They’re solid, Nick.”
“I know, but we still need to investigate them. I guess you didn’t mention it to the police, so at least let Axis Management take a look at them, okay?”
“Okay,” Mulberry said.
He looked so relieved she laughed.
“I was worried I’d have to fight you on it. I don’t feel like doing that right now.” Nick kissed the top of her forehead.
“I like this soft side of you,” she grinned.
“Not many people see it,” Nick said. “I guess we both have secrets.”
“I’m glad I know some of yours.”
“Let me clean this up,” Nick grabbed the empty mugs and plates, and Mulberry sat happily content and waited for him to return.
