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Iraise my hand to Seer’s face, gently smoothing out the crease on his forehead. He looks so sad–even sleeping. What battle is he fighting that he doesn’t even get to stop in his sleep? My heart breaks for him. I’ve tried to absolve his pain, but I can only do so much.
It’s been three days since the fight between him and Edward. Graveyard performed emergency surgery on Seer, and even though he reassured me that he’d be fine, I still couldn’t let go of the knot of worry in my chest. I’m trying not to think about the thousand what-ifs in my head, but with each passing day that Seer’s eyes remain closed, the voices in my head get louder.
It’s been a week… a whole week since he’s been sleeping.
I take his hand in mine, placing a gentle kiss on the back of his palm. “Open your eyes for me, baby. I miss you.”
Suddenly, I feel his hand move in mine. I freeze. My heart quickens as I stare at our joint hands. I watch in awe as his fingers tighten around mine. My eyes fly to his face, and I gasp in disbelief when our eyes connect. “Nicholas…”
“Hey, baby,” his voice was raspy, but I heard him clearly.
My chest tightens as I gaze into his dazzling blue eyes. A sob escapes my throat, a tear splattering onto our joint hands. Nicholas tries to sit up, and I quickly stand up to help him. He wraps his arms around me, trapping my body against his chest.
And when his lips find mine, I melt into the kiss. It was soft, passionate–and filled with the words of our hearts. I cling to him, letting myself get lost in the taste of him. The sweep of his tongue as he explored my mouth… The feeling of his strong arms around me again.
And when he pulls back and smiles into my eyes, I feel my heart swell with love for the amazing man in front of me. I loop my hand in his and place our joint hand on the place where my heart is hammering violently against my rib cage.
“You scared me, Nicholas,” I say with a sniff. I’m not afraid to show him my vulnerability. “When I saw that knife buried in you, I…,” I take a deep breath, wishing the horrible image away from my head. “I thought I was going to lose you. I’ve never been more scared. Don’t ever do that to me again.”
He nods, his eyes never leaving mine. “Okay, baby.”
“I love you, Nicholas. I love you so much.”
Seer’s smile in that moment as he drops his forehead onto mine will always live in my memories.
“I love you too,” he says in a whisper that reaches my soul. “Forever and beyond, baby.”
* * *
One week, two days later
Edward is crouching in the corner of the small private clinic room, his face to the wall. I can’t see his face, but I can tell that there’s something different about him. He’s murmuring incoherently to himself while scratching his nails down the wall in front of him. If Edward heard us come in, he made no indication. I feel my stomach coil in horror at the heavy chains that bind his ankles and knees.
“Why is he chained?” I ask, looking from Pocus to Graveyard.
“He became violent after he regained consciousness and stabbed Graveyard with a syringe,” Pocus explains. “He swung at Bones and almost got Hex real good. It took about three of us to hold him down. As if that’s not enough, the bastard tried to kill himself more than once in the past week. I couldn’t have him running loose.”
“Why… why is he like that?” I ask, looking to Graveyard for a reasonable explanation as to why Edward is behaving out of the ordinary. “Is it something that I did?”
“No,” Graveyard replies, shaking his head. “I’m not sure what it is. He’d need to be examined by a psychiatrist.”
I walk further into the room. “Ed?” I call cautiously.
His hands pause their painfully rapid movement on the wall. The chains on his ankles rattle, making a terrifying sound as he turns around slowly to face me. He stands swiftly and lunges in my direction, but the chains on his ankles restrict his movement. I falter, more surprised by the heavy bandages on his eye than his attack. He bares his teeth at me, growling non-stop as he struggles against the binds holding him down.
“What the fuck…?” I turn to Pocus, then Graveyard. “His eyes… why are they like that?”
“They’re completely damaged,” Graveyard says, shaking his head solemnly. “I couldn’t do anything about it.”
“Does that mean he’s completely blind?”
“I’m afraid so,” Graveyard replies.
A sinking feeling settles in my stomach as I look back at Edward, who’s still growling like a wounded animal.
I did this to my brother.
I remember jabbing the Zoramhus stone into his eyes with a vengeance. This was no coincidence… I could excuse my action as self-defense against Edward’s sneak attack. That would be a fucking lie. I wanted to hurt him – I’ve wanted to for a long time. I wanted him to feel the pain of betrayal. Watching him like this, I ask myself if I feel any regret. But, I don’t… I just feel a deep sadness and something else… an emotion akin to pity. For myself. For Edward.
