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I quickly turn Lacy around and hurry back down the trail as a few riders turn back to look at me.
Brown-headed cowbird andnota brown princess woodpecker. Noted.
I giggle to myself as I hold my stomach. I’m about three months along and I’m so excited for this baby to come out into the world so we can all be together as a little family. I have no idea what the sex is, but I have a feeling it’s a girl.
Lacy takes me down the mountain trail and the cool breeze hits my sweaty skin. The view of the Montana mountains is spectacular and I’m feeling so damn lucky that I’m here. I still can’t believe it. It all feels so surreal. I have an amazing new life with a perfect man andnothingcan ruin it.
Uh-oh. Another lavender field.
I leap off my horse as another intense wave of nausea hits and I promptly puke my guts out into the grass.
Well,almostnothing can ruin it…
Epilogue
Tyler
Fourteen years later…
Gratitude fills every inch of my body in a warm glow as I hang back, watching my family riding up the mountain on horseback. I’m in the rear spot with our six-year-old Lauren in front of me, then our nine-year-old Luca, then my beautiful loving wife Carrie, and then in the lead spot as usual is our thirteen-year-old, Eric.
We’ve done this ride countless times, but there’s something about today that really hits me. Maybe it’s the perfect weather—the warm summer day with the cool breeze, or the nice breakfast we shared—waffles with fresh fruit and whipped cream. Carrie was playing some oldies and dancing around the kitchen as we cooked. I joined in and then so did the kids. No fights, no tears—just a Sunday morning dance party in pajamas.
I feel so lucky. So thankful to have my wonderful family to share this beautiful moment with.
To think that in my early thirties, I didn’t want any of this. That I wanted to be left alone. I shake my head, wondering how I could be so wrong. How could I have been so stupid?
That incredible woman up there, riding on the brown horse, changed all of that. I’m so thankful for her wrong turn, for the rain, for the mud, for her crappy old car. Where would I have been without any of it? How sad and lonely would I be?
My eyes water and I get all choked up as I watch my family riding up the mountains I love. They’ve made my life truly worth living. They’re everything to me.
Carrie turns back with a smile. Her forehead scrunches up when she sees that I’m emotional.
She steers her horse to the side of the trail and lets Luca and Lauren pass.
“What is it?” she whispers as her horse begins walking beside mine. “Are you crying?”
“No,” I say as I wipe my tear away. “I’m just… I’m so happy to have you all. I always feel it, but it’s just hitting me a little harder today.”
She starts to tear up too as she smiles. “I feel the same way every minute of every day. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
I feel my heart expanding in my chest like it can’t possibly get any fuller. Sometimes I wonder if my body can handle any more love. Sometimes, I feel like I’m bursting with it.
“Luckily, we don’t have to wonder,” I say as I take her hand.
She squeezes my fingers in gratitude and rests her head on my shoulder. Our horses continue walking up the beautiful mountain trail as we watch our amazing kids.
I thought when I found Carrie lost on the mountain that I was the one who saved her, but now I know that’s not the case. I was the one who was truly lost and she was the one who found me.
She’s given me everything—Kids, love, happiness, a life worth living.
Every day, I try my best to repay her. To be worthy of her love.
And in some magical moments, like this one, I feel like I’ve come pretty close.
