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“Tell us, love,” Sam insists, mischievousness sparkling in his eyes. I think he knows where I’m going.
“Well,” I drawl, taking my time. I sigh. “I guess I can tell you now. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
I get up, earning me a soft moan from Rose when my hand leaves her scalp. I walk to them and point at the small heart on Sam. “I used to be jealous of this.” I poke it, feeling the need to check if it’s real. “And the one on Rose, obviously.”
“No,” Lik laughs. “Please tell me you were not that bitter.”
“Oh, I was,” I nod. “Rose and I were the epitome of toxicity in high school.” I raise the booty shorts I’m wearing slightly. “She was a bitch who liked whoring around, and I was as jealous as they come. It earned me this.”
I lift my leg and show them the wonky tattoo I’d practically begged Rose to give me when we were younger. It’s so high on my thigh that it can’t even be seen when I’m in shorts.
Property of Rose White.
“This,” I point. “Is because I knew you guys shared a tattoo. And you were the one I was jealous of the most. You also had that X tattoo. The one on your neck that she also has on her arm.”
“That one is the Bianco family mark. And as for the heart…I don’t know. Nothing had ever happened between her and me back then,” Sam scoffs.
“I know, but you knew her. Anyone could sleep with Rose. She’d give them her superficial self anytime. But youknewher. Her secrets, her past. I hated that you two shared something together from before me.”
“Toxic indeed,” Lik mocks me.
“Thank God you didn’t know about the other ones,” Sam laughs.
“What?” I choke.
Raising an eyebrow in jest, he points at a small sentence on his abs. “This is from the notes she used to leave in my jackets when she lived at Bianco’s. My dad used to work for him, so I was there every single day.”
The writing is almost like Rose’s current writing. Messy, cursive letters from someone who clearly hates using a pen.
Escaping Lik’s hold, Sam takes a step forward and spreads his arms wide. Slowly he spins around. Slow enough for me to notice all the other tattoos of short sentences he sports. There must be more than fifty of them peppered all over his body, mixed with the other designs covering him. His arms, his left wrist, his ribs, and the back and front of his legs. On the back of his neck, one just below his heart.
“They’re all the notes she left you,” I whisper in shock.
“Every single one of them,” he confirms.
“What else,” I ask, fascinated. My old jealousy seems dull and stupid compared to his passion for our girl.
He shrugs. “Some here, some there.” He shows me his inner right wrist. “She drew this for me on a napkin when we were kids.” The hand-drawn heart should have looked ridiculous as a tattoo but knowing where it came from gives it a different meaning.
“This is crazy,” I say softly, not meaning it one bit.
“Hardly,” he tells me. “Rose has been mine for my entire life, Rachel. I’ve had her in my heart, in my thoughts. She’s with me every day that I live. Surely you can understand that. Wearing her on my skin is just a physical way of showing what she did to me emotionally. She marked me the moment she set eyes on me as a kid. Nothing will ever change that. It’s permanent.”
I’m speechless, so Lik takes over.
“They have a past, Rach. We can only accept it.”
I nod, completely agreeing with him.
“It doesn’t mean we can’t create a present all of us together,” Sam jumps back in. “We both grew up and moved on to do our own things. We fell in love with other people, and now all over again.”
“Now again?” I chuckle. My heart kicks into an unhealthy rhythm.
“What? Don’t you think I love you?” His smile is easy, his tone gentle.
“I…I don’t know. I can’t assume,” I stutter. “We’re not even attracted sexually to each other.”
“So? You don’t want to fuck Lik, and you told him you were in love with him. What about me?”
