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“He tried to free Bianco from prison.”
“What?” Lik chokes. “No, he didn’t.”
“Oh yes, he did,” I insist.
Sam’s silence tells everyone the truth.
“My brother Nate almost lost his life to put our foster dad in prison. And as soon as Sam lost his main source of income, he did his best to get him out.”
“That’s not why I did it,” he defends himself, admitting he did try to get him out.
“For years, he watched Bianco put me through hell.” My voice wobbles when I try to talk again. “He watched me suffer because of him. Then he tried to get him out of prison.”
“It was the only way…” Sam shakes his head, his words getting lost in silence. Like every time he’s overwhelmed, they don’t come out.
“And then he wonders why I chose Viktor over him,” I spit at last. “Why I didn’t want to come back when he found me. Why I felt safer hidden away.”
“And were you happy with that decision? Choosing him? How stupid did you feel when Biancowasn’t released,and you still agreed to have me killed.”
“They didn’t kill you. You fucking escaped!” I’m losing my patience and my sanity, and I’m the one who raises my voice first.
“And Bianco never got out!” he raises his voice back.
“Okay, okay. Let’s calm down,” Rachel says softly, but she’s too late.
I take a step back and shake my head, anger blinding me and stopping me from seeing reason.
“No. I’m not calming down,” I snap at her. “You’re all always looking down on me, thinking I’m so broken and fucked up. Yeah, I am, but look at yourselves!”
I point at Lik. “You're an ex-addict who used me to get back at his boyfriend.”
I look at Rachel. “You’re obsessed with hurting and making people bleed, and you use my need for pain to feed the sick side of you!” I jut my chin toward Sam. “You betrayed me. You cheated on Lik with me. Fuck, you only love Rachel because you couldn’t save your mother.”
It’s terrifyingly hard to catch my breath. “And look at me, so messed up that I’m falling in love with all of you. I don't know what I want anymore or who I can trust. So fucked up that I'm willing to be in a relationship withthree.Fucking.People.Who are just as mad as I am!”
“You need help, I swear to god,” Sam seethes.
I cackle a laugh like the crazy woman he’s accusing me of being, only it quickly turns into sobs I can’t control. “Of course I need help! Don’t you realize what I’ve been through?”
“Then ask for it instead of ruining all of our fucking lives!”
I take another step back, hurt more by these words than anything else he’s said so far.
Lik’s eyes dart to the door behind me and back to me. He shakes his head, silently pleading for me to stay.
“You’re pushing her away,” he scolds Sam. “This isn’t about your pride. We’re trying to solve this as a team, not make it worse.” He gets up and puts himself between me and the door, like he knows I was about to storm out and never come back.
I’m panting from the panic and anxiety of bringing up everything that made me the broken being I am. I feel myself losing balance, and Lik is the one who catches me, putting an arm around my waist and a hand on my arm from behind me. “Calm down,” he whispers in his magical voice.
“You know why I don’t ask for help, Sam?” I rasp quietly. Lik’s voice has managed to slow down my heartbeat, and his arms have helped to stabilize me. “Because no one comes when I do. I called for help once. You never came.”
I know he heard me that day when they took me. His window was open, and my screams tore apart the silence of his street.
“I did come. I promise you I came,” he whispers. “But I was—”
“Too late.”
Had he not pushed me away that day. Had he not kissed me just to satisfy his own need knowing perfectly it wouldn’t lead anywhere, I know I would have escaped Volkov’s men.
