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“When did you find out?” she asks, disappointed.
I stare at her, trying my hardest to choose the right words. The only thing I know is that Miguel is Valentina’s father, but everything else is mere speculation at this point. She doesn’t know that, though.
“Once Valentina told me who he is, it wasn’t hard to put the pieces together. The only way that information could have been kept from me is if you specifically asked Silas not to disclose it to me. After that, it was easy to figure out the rest. Why did you do it?”
She looks down at her plate and sighs. “I’m surprised Val told you about him. It’s a sore subject for her, and I didn’t think she’d ever open up about it. She acts like he’s dead to her, after all.” Grandma pushes a strand of her hair behind her ear, and my eyes zero in on the way her hand trembles. Odd. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her nervous before.
“What would you have had me do, Luca?” she asks, crestfallen. “When I saw her name on the list of applicants, I recognized her immediately. I still remember accompanying your parents to visit Val’s parents when she was born, you know? Your father and Miguel went to college together, and when Miguel left home, your father was one of the few people who supported him. I remember how much he was rooting for them, and how upset he was when Miguel left his family. Your father’s friendship with Miguel ended the day he walked away from Val. I know that if they’d still been around, your parents would have done all they could for Val. She would’ve been too young to remember, but they adored her when she was little.”
She takes a sip of her tea and falls silent for a moment, giving me a moment to digest the news. Grandma rarely mentions my parents, and this is a story I’ve never heard before. Somehow, I can imagine my father breaking ties with Miguel over the way he left Valentina, and the thought makes me oddly proud. I wonder what they’d think if they knew I ended up marrying her.
“Her resume looked empty, and I was concerned she wouldn’t be able to find a job. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give her a chance. I’m glad I did, because she turned out to be the best hiring decision I ever made. She excelled at her job and still does.” Grandma pauses and shakes her head. “But if she had known that she got her job in part because of the friendship between your fathers, she would have quit. She wants nothing to do with him, and unfortunately, he wants to keep her hidden, too. Behind the scenes, he was thwarting her job search. He never would have allowed her to get a high-profile job, because he doesn’t want anyone to find out about the family he abandoned. The only time he’d ever admit that she’s his daughter is if he stands to gain something from it.”
She looks into my eyes, her gaze pleading. “And you? If you had known that I truly did hire her with ulterior motives, and that she truly did get her job through nepotism, would you ever have let her live it down? You hated her when I first hired her and went out of your way to make her life difficult. What would have happened if you’d had that information? You’d have used it against her, wouldn’t you?”
I sit back as guilt eats at me. For years, I taunted her, telling her that she must have used underhanded means to get her job, and for years, she worked herself to the bone just to prove me wrong. If she were to find out about this, everything she’s worked so hard for would feel tainted.
“My wife can never find out,” I say, my voice terse.
Grandma smiles. “I haven’t breathed a word about it for years, Luca. Why would I start now?”
I stare at her for a moment, seeing her through fresh eyes. “Why did you place her by my side?”
She chuckles and tilts her head, a knowing smile on her lips. “Because I knew that she would thrive by your side. I’m not unaware of the harsh words you continued to throw at her, but I’m also aware of how much effort you put into training her, and the countless chances you gave her. You held onto her tightly even when she made mistakes you’d never forgive others for. Throughout it all, you may have shouted at her and made her feel horrible with your words, but you stood by her and fixed every single one of her errors. Several times, you’ve gone so far as to sweep a few of them under the carpet, thinking I wouldn’t find out that some of the company’s losses were a direct result of Val’s mistakes. That is why, Luca. Because your words have always been inconsistent with your actions, and I knew that despite your reluctance, you would give her the chance she deserved. I took a chance on her, on you, and on what you could be together.”
I frown at her, my thoughts suddenly wandering in a direction I never thought they’d go to. Surely, she didn’t push Valentina toward me thinking we’d end up falling in love? I shake the thought off and sigh. Of course not. If she wanted us together, she’d simply have made me marry her in the first place, wouldn’t she?
Chapter Forty-Four
Valentina
“Are you sure you want to join me?” I ask for the tenth time, part of me hoping he’ll change his mind. We’re meant to stay at Abuela’s house today, but I’m nervous about bringing him home with me. I’ve been putting it off for months, but I’m running out of excuses now. If I stay away any longer, I’ll just hurt Abuela.
It’s hard enough to put on an act in front of my mother, but now that he knows about my father, I’m even more worried. On top of that, Luca has been acting odd lately, and I don’t know what to make of it. He’s been kinder, but also quieter and much more distant. I was certain he’d have questions about my father, but he hasn’t said a thing about it, and I don’t understand why.
“I can just go by myself. We wouldn’t be in breach of the rules. I’d just be away for one night.”
I’m not necessarily ashamed of my past, but I’m scared to show him a part of me that’s in direct contrast to the picture I painted for him. In just one aspect of my life, I want to be confident and well-respected. When I’m with Luca, at work, I get to be the version of myself I always wanted to be. I’m scared that he wouldn’t look at me the same anymore if he got to know the real me.
With each month of marriage that passes by, I become more insecure and scared. The woman he thought he married and the one I am deep inside aren’t the same, and I’m terrified he’ll abandon me when he finally realizes it. At the same time, a small part of me hopes that even if he does find out, he’ll want me the same. It’s a jarring feeling, to so desperately want something I swore to myself I’d never desire.
Luca leads me to the car silently. “I know your mother is still worried about you,” he says eventually, his voice soft. “She’s only barely started speaking to you again. What would she think if you show up without me?”
He’s right, of course. Yet I can’t help but wonder what would be worse, going home without him or him witnessing what my family is truly like. It’s one thing to hear degrading comments about my dad, but it’s even worse now that he knows who my father is.
I’m so lost in thought that I barely even realize it when we pull up in front of the house. It isn’t until Luca opens the car door on my side that I snap out of it. He offers me his hand, and I carefully place mine in his, my gaze pausing on my wedding ring.
Three diamonds. One for each year we spend together. I’m increasingly growing concerned about the impact this marriage will have on me. When this is all over, will I walk away without any damage, or will he leave his mark on me?
“Val,” Mom says when we walk in, her expression stony. She doesn’t look happy to see us, but she doesn’t look as annoyed as I expected either. “Luca.” Her voice wavers when she says his name. It’s clear that it’s hard for her to see him as something other than my boss.
“Go on. Put your stuff away. I’ll make some tea. Abuela is sleeping, so be quiet.”
I nod and lead Luca up the stairs, nerves thrumming down my spine. “Valentina,” he says. “Stop being so nervous. You’vebeen at my grandmother’s house countless times. This is no different.”
I glance back at him and shake my head. No. It’s not the same at all. He grew up in pure luxury, surrounded by siblings who adore him. My life is the polar opposite of his in every way, and somehow, I’m scared he’ll realize how incompatible we are. I shouldn’t care, because I know none of this is real, but Idocare.
Luca chuckles when we walk into my old bedroom, fascination lighting up his expression. He looks at all the yellow post-it notes on my walls and traces over them with the tips of fingers, a wicked smile on his lips. “So your love for these started young, huh?”
