Page 7 of The Dating Mishapp


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DanDad007: Army. Eight years.

Stella214: Thank you for your service.

I mentally calculate how old he could be. If he joined the military right out of high school, he could be mid to late twenties. Despite being just a few years older than Kylie, he seems mature for his age. I guess time in the service will do that to a person.

Our mutual love of dogs becomes the focus of conversation. You can learn a lot about a person by how they treat animals.

DanDad007: We’re going hiking later. Come meet me and bring Diogi. We can get food after.

He adds a playful emoji with the tongue sticking out and it makes me wonder what his tastes like. Is he a coffee drinker? Beer? Whiskey?

I’m just about to ask about the little girl in the photo when the front door opens and in walks my ten o’clock appointment. I find it odd that he would post her face online yet shield his own.

I throw the paper towels in the trash and slip my phone into my black apron. “Morning! I’ll be right with you.”

I settle my mother’s best friend, Lisa, into the chair and drape a cape over her. Our eyes meet in the mirror as the light strands of her chin-length bob slip through my fingers. I suddenly realize that my new cut is like hers and I internally cringe. “What are you thinking?”

“Trim and touch up the roots…but I think I want to add a little color.”

“Color?”

For as long as I’ve known this woman, she’s never had a different style or changed color since I was four.

She nods. “I need to spice things up a bit for Bill this Valentine’s Day.”

I shudder to think of her and Mr. Jackson in the privacy of their bedroom, doing anything other than sleeping. They're…old.

I lead her over to the sink to wash and condition her hair. We make small talk about their evening with my parents.

“You should’ve come. Billy was in town. Did your mom tell you that he and Eileen are getting divorced?”

“Haven’t they been down this road before?”

She gasps, affronted. “That witch cheated on my boy.” She looks up at me. “He could use someone like you.”

Unsure about her comment, I sigh and refrain from telling her that her son was the unfaithful one and that I would never date him.

“Speaking of…Valentine’s Day, have any birthday plans?”

“We’re going to the charity event.”

“A fundraiser on Valentine’s Day? You should go with Billy. He’ll be good to you.” My eyes round when she winks and smiles.

Ping!

By the time I’m done with her hair, I’ve heard all about her plans for a remodel of their house, her husband’s digestive issues, and again, her son’s failed marriage.

I’ve ignored the alerts for the past hour and when she finally leaves, I grab my phone and open the app.

GymRat5566sent two messages. The first asks me to send a picture of my boobs along with my feet. The second asks for my address.

Block.

Stella214: Sorry for the late response. I was working. How was your hike?

DanDad007: Long. We went an extra 3 miles.

Stella214: Extra? (big eye emoji) How long do you usually go for?

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