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“I’m not playing any games with you anymore,” I say through gritted teeth. He’s pushing me, and I almost want to stomp my feet and have a tantrum right here in the airport just to show him how much he is pissing me off. But somehow, I think he would find a way of turning that around for his benefit, so I control myself.
“We’ll see,” he snips with a little too much humor in his voice.
I want to scream. He’s so infuriating. I’m not going to survive this weekend. The way I see it, he will drive me to absolute insanity, and I will either kill him or myself. Either way, we’re not both coming home on Monday.
BRANDON
AN HOUR INTO THE flight and she hasn’t said a word to me. As soon as we boarded and sat in our seats, she slid on a face mask and has been pretending to be asleep since the plane took off. That was after making a fuss about having the window seat.
“What happened to the fun girl I used to know? The old Cassie would have some game to pass the time,” I challenge her playfully, trying to get her to take off the mask and give me something so I’m not just sitting beside her, wasting time. Thanks to her dad, we have already lost years that we could have happily been a part of each other’s lives. And I’m done with it.
“She died, along with her hopes and dreams when the man she thought she could rely on let her down,” she says without moving her body, her words flat and emotionless. It’s a statement, and that is all.
Her comment hurts more than I would like to admit. I know that’s who I was for her. She told me back then she didn’t have any interest in other guys. It was always me. From the moment I kissed her at the concert, I was the only one she thought about. I know what we had meant something to her, and I let her down. But I did it for her. I thought I was doing the right thing. “Geez, Cassie.” I sigh.
“You asked.” She huffs, turning her body toward the widow, blocking me out even more and pretending to go back to sleep.
The way she tries to ignore me is irritating, so I pull her eye mask off her face so she’s forced to look at me. “Can we just have a conversation about what happened back then without all the snarky remarks? If we’re going to be stuck together for the next four days, we could at least try to get along. Maybe sort through some of it so the rest of the school year is easier on the two of us,” I suggest, trying to be the bigger person here. If she knew what I had to go through back then, she wouldn’t be such a bitch to me now.
She tilts her head to look up at me, not impressed. “No. You lost your right to a pleasant conversation when you broke it off with me via a text message like some fucking coward.” She almost spits the words at me, so much venom in her tone.
I give her a hard look. “That wasn’t what happened.”
She raises a brow, her face plastered with a look of sarcasm.
“Okay, well, that is what it would have seemed like to you at the time. I get that. But it wasn’t how it really went down.”
She finally turns her body to face me. “Enlighten me then, Brandon.” She stares at me, her pretty green eyes distant. They have lost all the warmth they used to hold for me, that superstar twinkle. Looks like it’s long since fizzled out. The thought fills me with so much regret.
“Your dad. At the movie night, I told you about his threats. When he found out about us, he made sure I wouldn't be able to see you for a long time. You have to know what your dad can be like. He's not the kind of man you say no to. There was no other choice but to end it that way.”
She tilts her head, assessing me. She sinks her teeth into her lip, nibbling as she mulls over my words. "We had something worth fighting for. I can't see how my dad asking you to stay away from me would have made you do it. Nothing would have kept me away from you. Was it easier to have me believe you hated me and wanted nothing to do with me? Or that I wasn’t even worth your time for a conversation? Because that is how it came across. You crushed me. I had thought you were someone special. But I was just a stupid kid. What did I know?”
I want to tell her it all, every last detail of what went down that night and how controlling her father really is, what he is willing to pay to protect his daughter from the likes of me. But it was so long ago, and the damage has already been done. If she found out now that Daddy dearest made me sign a contract stipulating that I stay out of Palm Springs and away from her for no less than six years in return for paying for my mother's oncology bills, it would not only break the terms of our contract and cause trouble for me and the boys, but also destroy her relationship with him—and what's the point in that now?
I might not need his money anymore, but back then I was desperate. My ma would have died if she didn't get the lifesaving chemo that we couldn't have paid for otherwise, and that's why, even though I hate myself for giving her up, I had to, it was the only option.
“You have to believe me, Cassie. I thought I was doing the right thing by you. You were so young, with so much ahead of you. I really thought you would be better off without me. You would move on and live your dreams without me holding you back. I never meant to hurt you. That’s the last thing I wanted to do, but your dad had a point, and I was going through so much at home. I did what was best.”
“Whatever.” She averts her gaze away from mine, looking out the window.
“You’re infuriating,” I tell her. I can’t stand her attitude. She won’t even give me a chance to explain properly. She shrugs her shoulder like she doesn’t care what I have to say. Her mind is made up about me. “Despite what you think, the time we had together meant everything to me. I didn’t want to walk away from you. And if I had the chance to do it again, I would work out a way to stay.”
This time she doesn’t come back with a snippy remark, just watches the clouds go by out the window. “We can’t change the past. Who knows, if we could, I would be on a stage dancing right now. But we both fucked up, and it’s done,” she says sadly, still looking out the window.
And I still don’t get that part. She obviously still wishes she was dancing, so why isn’t she? But I don’t want to piss her off any further, so I don’t ask again.
Another five minutes pass before she looks back toward me. “Tell me, Brandon, were you able to move on, find a special someone to take my place?” Her eyes meet mine. Like she is challenging me to something.
I shake my head sadly. “No, I haven’t found anyone like you.” How could she think I would even try?
She gives me a soft smile, and I think we might be getting somewhere, actually talking like two human beings finally. “Good,” she says with a nod of her head. What does she mean by that? Good, because she wants me to still be after her? Is she still hung up on me and that’s what the attitude is all about?
“You?” I ask way too quickly, even though I have no right to. I need to know. I want to hear that she has thought of no one but me.
Her eyes darken. “I moved on with every guy I could. And it felt amazing, each one washing away any remaining feelings I had for the man who broke my heart so badly I thought I would never recover. But. I. Did.”
Her words cut right through me, like tiny knives slicing any remaining parts of my soul that weren’t distorted already when I walked away from her. And I can tell by the way she looks at me that that was her intention. She knows how jealous I get.
