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“I don’t want to be! I’m not this snide, spiteful person. I like people happy, and I like to be happy!” I whispered. “I’m happy.”
But I wasn’t. And that was on Caleb. It wasn't that I didn’t forgive him because I did. But he'd been so awful and hurtful, and I didn’t think I could let it go so easily and be sunshine and daisies right off the bat. I deserved a man to work for me, to try, to woo me, and I realized no one ever had. With Shane, it was instant, well, lust, to be honest.
He wasn’t always an ass. For the first while, until after we’d married and settled into the Walker pack, he was quite something. But he never wooed me, and that was my fault. I guess I didn’t feel like I had deserved it, and yeah, a lot of my thinking was about being lucky enough to have landed him.
With Caleb, it had been a rocky ride of me always trying, smiling, doing, and right now, I didn’t like that. I’d done my part and been worthy, and now he needed to be worthy of me. Yeah, I understood he had hang-ups, and yes, I felt terrible for him, but he wasn’t the only one with problems. You didn’t see me throwing them around as justification.
“Fucking asshole,” I grumbled, curling my lip before I stared up at the ceiling and thought about what had happened.
I was still pissed off that Shane was alive. A tiny part of me-fine, a huge part of me- was disappointed that I hadn’t killed him, even accidentally. Now, I had to deal with the fact that Caleb probably did. Hell, I knew he had because if he were there like the Knowing showed me he was, I’d bet money I didn’t have that Caleb Chase ripped Shane a new one. Probably bit his head off.
Or ripped his guts out.
The lucky schmuck!
But, whatever. I could get over it all and deal with everything just as soon as I stopped feeling mad about my mating and the fact that I hadn’t had one date, one sweet romantic word, or a freaking flower.
I deserved those things.
Yeah, you do. You’re worth it, Ren Chase. Don’t you ever forget it,my mind whispered, happily and with so much pride. I smiled and teared up.
You know what, you’re not so bad. I mean, you’re insane, and you drive me nuts, but I’m glad you were with me when I fell. That joke you made about Caleb whining to his brothers about losing another mate was hilarious. As was the image of him pouting. Before he carried on with his life.
Girl, I was just distracting you while we fell to our death. That’s what real friends are for!
I snickered, hearing her happy, and knew this was rare because I’d be right back to the bitchiness soon enough.
And I was okay with that because I liked myself. I finally liked myself enough to accept myself as I was. Now it was Caleb’s turn to work for me. And God help the man if he didn’t because I was pretty sure the new me would kill him if he didn’t.
Caleb
I was a pathetic creep and didn’t think I'd heard it all, but I didn’t give a shit as I stood in the trees and watched Ren leave the clinic. She was smiling, and I felt like I was seeing the sun for the first time in days. I was miserable too, which wasn’t much of a surprise seeing as my mate woke up, cussed me out, kicked me in the balls, and promptly moved in with my brother.
“This is getting fucking weird.” I heard Cole sidle up beside me and groaned, taking one look at me and curling his lip. “When was the last time you showered? Jesus, Caleb, you smell like dirty nuts and broken dreams!”
He snorted, unable to hold in his laughter, and I growled as I flushed with embarrassment. He wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t slept or eaten properly in days, and showering was too much effort when all I wanted to do was see Ren. I missed her so much, nothing mattered anymore, and if I couldn’t have her, I could at least be close to her the only way I knew how.
“I was guarding the house last night and the night before that,” I mumbled, my eyes narrowing when she walked into the store across the street and disappeared from view.
I wasn't allowed in there anymore, and the last time I tried, Walker walked in and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t leave Ren alone. All I did was fall to my knees in the middle of the aisle and pour my heart out. You’d swear I was a danger the way Trey hustled her out of there after she sneered at me and told me to get lost.
“Bro, you need to stop. She’s trying to heal.”
“She should heal with me. She’s my mate!” I whined, eyeing the clinic while worry toe through me.
Was she sick? Did she have some sort of lingering injury from the fall? The fact that I didn’t know killed me, but I was going to fix that.
“Yeah, well, she’s your mate who’s trying to deal with one split personality, a weak wolf, and now the echoes of your bear and wolf. What were you thinking, biting her twice?” he snarled, rolling his eyes when I smiled, preening.
I was thinking I wasn’t ready to lose the only female I ever really loved. I was thinking if she died, I wasn’t far behind, so giving her part of myself wasn’t that terrifying. Mostly, I was thinking I would do anything to save her and have those blue eyes smiling at me.
What I got was disgust, a mule kick to the gonads, and Ren’s assertion that I didn’t pass muster with her.
“I knew my bear and wolf were strong enough to save her. She was dying.”
“She was in a coma, rightfully so, but she would have woken up. Eventually.” Cole argued, leaning against the tree beside him while I shook my head and sighed.
“She was dying. I could scent it.”
