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“So you bit her and gave part of yourself to her? Caleb…” he groaned, smiling tightly when I growled, and my bear got so testy, I felt my hands shift into paws before I shook it off.
Fucking bear. Calm down! You’re supposed to be the calm one.
When all she did was grunt, I groaned and rolled my eyes. Ever since I let them out, giving them more control than I had in ever, it’s been one thing after another. What I’d discovered, to my horror and surprise, was that my bear was way stronger than my wolf. The animal was sly though, a lot stealthier and patient than my wolf, and where I'd always tried to control my wolf, it was the bear I needed to watch.
Sneaky bastard.
“I bit her to save her because I would rather spend my life waiting for a chance with Ren Chase than have a lifetime without her. She’s my…everything.” I said softly, not caring how sappy or pussy whipped I sounded.
It was true. She was everything. When I did sleep, I woke wanting her, missing her, needing her so badly it hurt. And it wasn’t just about sex, although my animals were all about that and never shut up about claiming her. It was natural to want to reclaim my mate after nearly losing her, so I couldn’t blame them.
But what I wanted was one moment of her. To see her eyes, to taste her breath, and smell her scent. One touch of her hand against me. A word. Anything.
“Oh, Caleb. Christ, man, you’ve turned into a sap.” Cole muttered, but he smiled softly as he said it without the sting of his usual mockery.
It wouldn’t matter if there were. People laughed at me daily. Hell, Walker called me up late at night after he’d run me off and ordered me to stop stalking my mate, and he laughed his ass off about how hard and far I’d fallen.
None of that mattered, and I’d discovered it never would. With Ren, I had no pride, and I liked it that way because I’d realized love wasn’t about saving face and what others thought of me. With Joyce, I was always working my ass off to provide her with the stuff she wanted because I was terrified everyone would see how much I didn’t deserve her.
She was this dream I’d had, a mirage that I fooled myself into thinking I wanted. Hell, fated or not, sometimes I didn’t even like her, and that wasn’t about her; it was about me. I’d wanted a mate who would love me and create a loving, warm home for me to land in after the horrors of my day. I’d wanted cubs, laughter, and chaos and what I got was nothing like that.
Joyce didn’t fit any part of that dream. She didn’t cook, she hated cleaning, and the one time I talked about starting a family, she’d laughed and told me she wasn’t ready and didn’t know when she ever would be. I’d accepted that the fating was so strong I’d convinced myself I was okay with that. As long as I had her, I could give up any dream and still be happy. But I wasn’t. I was miserable. I worked sixteen-hour days sometimes, picking up as many shifts as I could to make more and more money.
I’d wanted to give her everything so people could see I was a good male, a good mate, and in return, I got nothing.
I guessed...a huge part of my grief after she left me was because I’d not lost her; I’d lost everything I’d wanted in the pursuit of what I thought was right.
“No, Cole. I’ve finally fallen in love.” I whispered, smiling sadly when he sighed and shook his head.
“Told you from the start, Joyce wasn’t right for you. Fating or not, you two didn’t fit. Just like your wolf, man. I know he’s there, and I know he’s part of you, but you’re a bear. Who you were in your other life, that wasn’t you, not really. This fating with Ren proves it. I’ve never seen you happier than you are with her. Even when you try not to be.” He chuckled, slapping me on the back when I grumbled and blushed.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” I whispered, swallowing when he sighed and shook his head.
“I’d tell you if I knew, I swear, but I have my fucking female problems, and trust me, bro, I fucked up worse than you did. At least your female is here, close enough to touch.” He muttered before nodding and turning to walk away.
I wanted to stop him, my curiosity peaked, but instead, I let him go and turned to the clinic, my resolve growing. Breathing deep, I skirted the place, keeping to the trees as I approached the back, and then sidled up to a window. One peek inside, and I saw there was no one around, so I used a claw to pop the latch and lifted it.
It was probably wrong to sneak into the clinic and read Ren’s records, some sort of privacy violation or some shit, but I didn’t let that bug me as I scented the air and climbed inside. My first stop was the filing cabinet, where I knew Dr. Triss kept patient records.
Flicking through the files, I hissed when I didn’t find her under the C’s but under the S’s. Ren Sheppard. Fuck no. Chase, I snarled, grabbing a pen to cross the last name out and correct it. Satisfied, I flipped through the folder and then stopped breathing when I saw what was written there.
Joy hit me first, the happiness so great it nearly choked me as I reread the words over and over again while pride and fear, and panic melded inside me.
“Pregnant.” I rasped, the image of my Ren carrying my seed, turning my heart into a runaway beat that knocked so hard my chest physically hurt from the force of it.
Fuck. Pregnant. My Ren was pregnant, and she wasn’t with me where I could take care of her and make sure she ate and watch her like a hawk.
She was with Trey. My brother. Who would take care of her, feed her and make sure she was happy?
No way. That wasn't happening. If a male was going to care for my mate, it was going to be me. Not my smooth, good-looking little brother who could charm the panties off many a female. Ren wouldn't stay there and fall victim to his charms, and I wasn't about to sit back and let him show her how wonderful he was.
She was mine, and no other male could have her.
“Never,” I growled, closing the file as I started to plan.
It was all wrong. Hell, Ren had been through a lot, lived through an abusive marriage, and had been kidnapped and nearly killed. Plotting a kidnapping probably wasn’t smart.
Hell. As she had pointed out the day she woke up and nailed me in the balls.
