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Wanting to prove myself to the board was one thing. Wiping that smug smirk off of Killian’s face and proving that, contrary to his belief, I did know how to do my job was an added bonus.
Although Killian knew how to get under my skin and exactly which buttons to push, I spent an ungodly amount of time trying to rise above it. The two of us spent more time fighting than getting along and while it did - occasionally - weigh on me, I couldn’t deny that a part of me enjoyed it.
More than I cared to admit.
Knowing that Killian was able to keep up with me filled me with a strange thrill. Now and again, when I hit him with a below the belt response, I made sure to let him know that I wasn’t the kind of woman he could mess with. Not without consequences anyway.
But that didn’t stop him.
If anything, it made him double down on his efforts to irritate me.
Which made me double down on my efforts to irritatehim. It was a never ending cycle with us.
Arrogant bastard. I can never quite put my finger on what gets me so hot and bothered, why does he make me feel like that when he’s so irritating?
I had no idea if it was the way he commanded a room, exuding confidence and control, or if it was the fact that his smile made my mind go blank. All I knew was that I’d spent the past five years, since beginning at the bottom of the food chain, trying and failing to not imagine what it would be like to be with a man like Killian.
And truth be told, it actually hadn't been just the last 5 years of working together, our weird fighting and being at eachothers throats had been going since we were teenagers, much to Serena’s frustration.
Here and there, when I was around him, I felt a strange stirring in the center of my stomach I couldn’t identify. While I tried to tell myself that what I felt for him was burning hate, I wasn’t entirely sure it was. Even since we were young, the two of us had always found ways to get on each other’s nerves.
Killian practically thrived on pissing me off.
And I liked knowing that I didn’t fall all over him like other women. And I liked reminding him of that even more.
After years of working together, I thought he would be used to it by now. But it just keeps getting worse, and sometimes it feels like the only reason I wasn’t already let go was because of Serena.
Serena might like you, but it doesn’t mean she’ll always be able to protect you. Try and remember that the next time you want to make a scene in public.
Although I made sure that Killian thought my disdain matched his own, there were times when I wondered if trying to find my balance on the slippery slope was worth it.
Because I didn’t want to keep doing this little song and dance with Killian for the rest of my life.
“You look like you’re about to throw your laptop across the room.” Serena let my door fall shut behind her and gave me a sympathetic smile. “Let me guess, Killian is driving you crazy by nitpicking every detail?”
“Your brother is a dick, you know.”
Serena threw her head back and laughed. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
I pushed myself away from the desk and stood up.
“Don’t let him get to you. You know he does it just because he can.”
“Yeah, he’s been doing it since we were six, but somehow, it doesn’t get any less annoying.”
Because we had known each other since we were kids, I told myself that Killian would grow out of his aggressive attitude. Unfortunately, over the years Killian had gone from being mildly annoying and charming to an insufferable jackass who believed he was God’s gift to men. Four years ago, when he took over as CEO for his late father, I considered quitting, the thought of working under Killian was infuriating. Thankfully, not only had his father hired a good board of directors, but Killian had seen fit to keep my dad on as his personal lawyer, ensuring a relatively smooth transition. Which certainly made things easier.
Killian had also brought Serena on as deputy manager of the company, and not only was she amazing at it, but she loved it. It gave her just the right amount of responsibility, so that she could have a lot more leeway with her personal life, but not have to manage the company at the very top.
“Remember when you used to doodle his name on your notebook?”
I made a face. “Don’t even remind me. I was an idiot.”
Yet, for a brief moment, I had believed that Killian felt the same. Before the company and the title, before the money turned him into one of New York's most eligible bachelors, Killian had still been Serena’s charming albeit slightly irritating older brother, but I had been able to see glimpses of the man beneath the snark and bullshit.
But somewhere along the line, I stopped finding his arrogance charming.
Honestly, sometimes I just wondered if I didn't want to be like all the other women fawning over him.
