AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His voice is quieter when he speaks this time. “It was pretty cool, having someone besides you worry about me. Not like you don’t worry and I don’t appreciate it.” He pulls the covers tighter. “I do, but her worry was different. She got me popsicles and made me food. It was a softer kind of worry.”
“It was a mother’s kind of worry,” I supply for him, knowing he won’t say the words aloud.
“There’s not often I feel loss, like I missed out on something because she wasn’t around.” He swallows audibly. “But today, as she hung out with me and did everything I needed her to do, I felt that loss. Not that you don’t do those things for me, but there was just something about having her do it.”
“No, I get it. She’s special, Caleb. I hope to have her around for a while.”
He coughs harshly into his hand. “Would you marry her, Dad? If given the option?”
The question catches me off guard. I’ve never thought about marrying anyone other than his mom, right after we found out she was pregnant. Thank God that never worked out. I decide to answer honestly because I’ve always been that way with him. “Rina makes me do a lot of things I swore I would never do. I can’t say either way, but I can say it doesn’t scare me. Less than two months ago that wasn’t even on my radar, but I can tell you without a doubt, I don’t want her to leave.”
“I don’t either, Dad.”
I lean down, kissing him on the forehead. “Then we’ll do our best to make her stick around. Deal?”
He bumps my fist. “Deal.”
“Now get some sleep, let the medicine work. If you need anything, we’ll be in the living room. Don’t hesitate to call either one of our phones if you can’t get out of bed.”
“Got it.” He rolls over, hugging the pillow to his chest.
When I leave the room, I leave with a smile on my face.
CHAPTER 16
MENACE
Havoc yawns loudlyfrom where he sits beside me in the driver’s seat. “Tired?” I rub my own eyes, having had a few late nights myself the past week.
“Exhausted man, I don’t know how you did this as a teenager, going to school.” He takes a drink of his coffee.
Even though it’s almost four in the afternoon, he’s still drinking java.
“Didn’t have a choice.” I shrug, nothing about what I did back then was special. No matter how many times people tell me it was amazing, I’ve never felt that way.
“No.” He shakes his head, a firm tone to his voice. “You say that shit all the time. That you didn’t have a choice. You had a choice, as evidenced by Caleb’s mom. When are you going to stop acting like you’ve been a martyr and just admit you’re a good man?”
Sighing, I push my head back against the leather seat. “I hate acting like what I did was some sort of sacrifice.”
“It was a sacrifice. Fuck, you’ve been responsible since you were sixteen years old.”
“Because I made a dumbass decision,” I argue. “Did I really know what it meant to have sex with no condom? Yes. Did I really realize what the consequences to my actions were? No. Thank God for my mom, because without her I’d be a totally different person and Caleb wouldn’t be who he is today. She saved me, butmydad? He never came around.” I clear my throat because this is hard to talk about. Hard to admit that I disappointed a man I looked up to so highly. “He could never get over the fact I fucked up so bad.”
“You never talk about him.” Havoc seems to realize this for the first time.
“He doesn’t deserve to be talked about. He and my mom are divorced, and they divorced because of the situation with Caleb. He never could seem to quite get over the fact I fucked up.”
“Wait, so let me get this straight. Not only does Caleb not have a mom, but he doesn’t have a grandfather, either?”
“Nope.” I take a drink of the bottle of water sitting next to me. “And to be honest, I’m okay with that. From the time my dad found out about Caleb, he was a mean bastard. Kept telling me I’d completely ruined my life. I’d end up married, depressed, and alone, begging my wife for sex or even for a little bit of affection. Now, as an adult, I can see that’s probably what happened to him. He and Mom were married eight months before I was born, so I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” I run my fingers through my hair.
“I think you broke the cycle with Caleb.” Havoc’s voice is dead serious. “He’s made it this far – he’s got the scholarship, a good head on his shoulders. It’s because you’re a good man who understands what his son needs. It’s what makes you a good cop, too. You listen, assess situations, and react accordingly. There’s never been a moment where I wonder where your head is, even when all that shit was going down with him a few months ago. You’re a good dad, Mason, but you’re a great man. The people in your life who’ve left you are the ones missing out, not the other way around. Those of us that have you here in our circle are lucky as hell.”
It means a lot to hear him say that, almost to the point that I become emotional. I’ve lived a lot of my life wondering when the other shoe will drop, when the next thing happens that makes me adjust my timeline. In all honesty, I’ve been doing that with Rina, too.
“You think Karina’s lucky?” I throw the sentence out there, not sure why. Maybe today I need some confirmation on what I’m doing right in my life. It’s not like Havoc and I need our egos stroked, but once in a while it’s nice to know we’re on the right track.
“Hell yeah. I can’t speak for how you treat her as the man in her life, but I’ve seen the two of you together a few times now. The way she smiles at you? You’ve got that on lock down, whether you know it or not, whether you really wanted it or not.”
