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He returned with two glasses of whiskey and handed me one. When he gestured over his shoulders at the armchairs set up on either side of the fireplace, I took a sip. As the liquid burned a path down my throat, I lowered myself onto the chair and held myself still.
My father sat across from me, a myriad of emotions dancing across his face, and his free hand clenched into a fist. “Your mother used to tell me that I needed to learn to handle my emotions better.”
I took a long sip of my drink. “She was right.”
“She usually was,” he agreed, with a small smile. “Your mother was a lot wiser and more observant than I gave her credit for.”
“She was.”
He lifted his gaze, so he was looking directly at me. “So are you.”
I eyed him over the rim of my glass and said nothing.
What was I supposed to tell him?
I’d spent most of my adult life dancing around him, and whenever I came too close, he tried to burn me. Having spent most of my life competing with or avoiding him, I had no idea what I was supposed to do now. Although I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice, the truth wasn’t going to erase what he’d done.
Or how badly he’d treated me.
Even if it did frame him in a different, softer light.
My father released a deep, shaky breath. “I know I haven’t treated you well, Bernard. I know an apology doesn’t change how hard I was on you or everything I’ve done to try and shut your company down.”
I took another long sip of my drink and cleared my throat. “It doesn’t.”
“In time, I hope you’ll forgive me.” He watched me carefully, his face now giving nothing away. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I want to put this behind us.”
Abruptly, I stood up and finished off the rest of my drink. Then I set my glass down on top of the mantle place, underneath apicture of the three of us, with my father’s arms wrapped around my mother, the two of them beaming at the camera while I sat on a small chair, showing off a row of white teeth.
It made me wonder if we had ever been happy.
Or if it had all been a carefully constructed illusion.
In trying to protect and give me a different path, my parents had kept a lot of things hidden from me. Most of my life had been shrouded in mystery and lies, and knowing the truth didn’t feel the way I thought it would.
It didn’t erase the scars I still carried.
Or the heaviness in my heart.
No matter how badly I wanted it to.
Quietly, my father came to a stand next to me, leaving a few inches of space between us. “Your mother was an amazing woman. Losing her changed me, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“I will do better, Bernard. I am going to make things right. Things are going to be different from now on. You have my word.”
I looked over at him, saw the emotion blazing in his eyes, and nodded.
A moment later, I made my way to the front door. In the doorway, I lingered and threw him a look over my shoulders. When our eyes met, a quick look passed between us before I glanced away again. Outside, I turned everything over and over in my head while I waited for the elevator.
As soon as I got in, I felt lighter.
Like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
Was this what I needed to finally put the past behind us?
Chapter 25: Disappear
Rachel
