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Scowling, Wilder continues to stare at me, likely considering disregarding all of us. After a tense moment, he stomps back down the couple of steps he’d taken. “Fine,” he hisses.
I toss Hawk a grateful look before hurrying up the stairs, leaving the three of them to navigate through the aftermath.
Reaching the bathroom I share with Kai, I shut the door behind me and lean against it. My jumbled thoughts jump all over the place, from Wilder storming out of the house yesterday to my altercation with him this morning to finding him and Mel in that bunker to walking in on her standing over Hawk.
Each scene flashes anew before my eyes, tormenting me. Taunting. Until it’s all I can see. I came so close to losing not one but two of the most important people in my life today. That knowledge settles into my bones like a lead weight, causing my hands to tremble.
Tears well in my eyes, and I bring my hands up to my face. Only, I grind to a halt when I notice the red stains—Hawk’s blood.
A fiery itch starts up under my skin, a sudden desperation to scrub myself raw driving me forward as I turn on the shower and strip out of the hospital scrubs in record time. Without testing the water, I step under the scalding spray.
Standing there, I let the ardent pelts turn my skin red, water mixed with blood pooling at my feet before swirling around the drain and disappearing. Closing my eyes, I let myself feel every panic-ridden, terror-soaked moment of the last twenty-four hours before finally directing my thoughts toward Mel.
A smile comes unbidden to my lips. I’m free. I’m finally free. A hysterical laugh bubbles out of me, this surreal feeling causing reality and fantasy to clash. Recalling the feeling of Hawk’s lips against mine, Kai’s arms wrapped around me, and Wilder’s skin beneath mine, I know there’s no way this can be a dream.
She truly is dead.
And I’m free to have the relationship I want with each of the three men downstairs.
Although Wilder and I need to have a serious conversation before anything else happens. That stunt he pulled today is not okay; it just proves that he still hasn’t let go of the past. I don’t understand what that was all about or how it was my fault. Or maybe it wasn’t my fault, and it was more habit that had him seeking me out to unleash his anger on. Either way, I refuse to tolerate it any longer.
I know the Wilder I fell in love with at Pac is buried somewhere inside him, hiding behind a hostile shell, and I am determined to yank him out again. I’m done letting him hide behind his anger. It’s time Wilder faced me head-on and dealt with his shit. It’s the only way we can move forward. The only hope there is of us ever being an eventuality.
With renewed purpose, I lower the temperature of the water and mechanically wash the dirt and grime from my skin. Once I’ve scrubbed the top three layers of skin from my body, I step out of the shower and wrap myself up in a fluffy towel before grabbing fresh clothes from my bedroom.
Towel-drying my hair before tying it up in a messy bun, I saunter downstairs in sweatpants and a hoodie I stole from Hawk. I heard the water running in both bathrooms when I passed, so I’m guessing the guys have successfully stored Mel’s body for now and are cleaning themselves up.
While I wait, I put on a pot of coffee, and I’ve just gotten comfy in the living room with my piping hot, life-sustaining drink when the pounding of footsteps announces the arrival of more than one of my men.
All three stride into the room, freshly showered but with bags under their eyes. None of us have slept in over twenty-four hours, and even Wilder’s nap at the hospital probably wasn’t all that rejuvenating. It won’t be long until we all crash, but first, we need to discuss the problem hidden downstairs.
“There’s coffee in the kitchen,” I tell them, and Hawk and Wilder immediately backtrack out of the room. Evidently I’m not the only one in need of caffeine to sustain themselves today.
Kai’s eyes fall to mine, his warm smile heating me from the inside out. Instead of following the others, he closes the distance between us, claiming the spot on the sofa next to me before taking the coffee cup from my hand and setting it on the table. Then he pulls me into his lap, bundling me against him like I’m a precious object to be protected and adored. Grinning like a schoolgirl with a crush, I bury my face in his neck and drink him in.
I’ve wanted this casualness with him for so long that I can’t believe it’s real. He’s been opening up more since that kiss, especially after Hawk pushed him to confront his feelings. Nevertheless, something loosens in my soul at seeing him so at ease around me now that Mel is out of the picture. It makes me realize that, despite his assurances, he was holding back because of her. I had been worried it was a lie and more excuses would pour out even after he’d taken care of her.
His sigh of contentment nearly undoes me, and I cling tighter to him.
“God, I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he says against my ear. Outside of the cinema room, with the early morning light visible through the window, this feels more real than our private moments together downstairs.
“Me too.”
Only when I hear the others coming back into the room, do I shift in Kai’s lap, watching as Hawk settles in beside us on the sofa, handing Kai his mug, and Wilder claims one of the armchairs.
Noticing the butterfly stitches on Hawk’s face have been replaced with actual stitches, I give him a questioning look, and he explains, “I got Kai to stitch it up.”
“Still think he should go to the hospital,” Kai grunts. “I was only ever taught how to do a rough job to keep men alive in the field.”
“It’ll be fine,” Hawk says, waving him off.
“It’s your face,” Kai argues. “Don’t think I’m going to listen to your shit when you’re left with an ugly ass scar.”
Unperturbed, Hawk winks at me, and although I agree with Kai, I can’t help but grin at him.
“We were thinking of ordering breakfast,” Hawk informs us, effectively changing the subject.
“I wouldkillfor some waffles right now,” Wilder groans. I am rolling my eyes at his dramatics and subtle word choice. I guess someone is still sour about missing out on all the Mel drama.
