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Especially when I knew what such a person could do.
•••
IT WAS Avery lonely day. I was the bride, but I didn’t feel particularly special to anyone there, except for Collin. No mother in the bridal suite to equal parts annoy and care for me. No father to walk me down the aisle. Bridesmaids who either actively disliked me, or were indifferent, or kissed my ass to the point that I disrespected her. Yes, I mean Wren Daly. It was strange because typically I never felt downright lonesome. My own company had always been enough, but there was something about that day and what it represented that vexed me. Perhaps it was that I was getting what I wanted at long last.
But then what?
The enormity of my greatest achievement being unlocked was overwhelming.
I was a trueVoguebride. Better. Truly stunning. I refused to wear the kind of dress that required help getting into and out of, as Ipreferred to piss in private. I opted for a sleek Galia Lahav gown that left little to the imagination. Strategic cutouts around my posterior and décolletage that would all but ensure the guests would be drooling. I donned a cathedral-length veil with pearl accents that shimmered when they hit the light just right. The combination would photograph splendidly. I didn’t care much about our personal album, but there would be features in the society rags. I wanted them all to squirm at my beauty and grace.
I. Wanted. People. To. Talk. It was the only way to bite back at Gale, since I was moments from full possession of the one thing she couldn’t have. She wasn’t having any fun at all as we got ready in the bridal suite. None of us were really, except for Wren Daly. She was embracing the bridesmaid role to an obnoxious degree. I promised myself that after the wedding, I’d never invite her anywhere again. She just wouldn’t stopfussingover me, touching me, primping me, fluffing me, taking selfies, posting on Instagram, tagging me, tagging Collin. It was too much and I hated it and wanted to scream at her to stop with all the theatrics, but I was the bride.
I was supposed to want all of that stuff.
I walked myself down the aisle.Quelle surprise.I suppose I could have asked Hayes Case to be on my arm, in lieu of my nonexistent father, but that would have felt far too phony. No matter. In all honesty, I craved the attention. I wanted everyone’s eyes on me and me alone. Bear witness to my greatest achievement. It was about to be over. I had won.
So Hayes walked Haven down the aisle. She wore silver because anything lighter would have been socially inappropriate, but she was sending a clear message about whose special day itreallywas. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen followed. Finally, a flower girl withher little basket of white rose petals. I don’t remember who she was. Someone’s child. We took a photo or two together. Her teeny-tiny fingernails were painted pale pink.
And then I made the journey alone, standing along the end of the aisle at the Rainbow Room. I locked in on Collin, avoiding Gale’s hard gaze at the front of the venue. It was really happening. What could she do now that wouldn’t mortify the entire family? Her fate was sealed and so was mine.
Collin gasped with his whole body at the sight of me in that dress. It pleased me, since we just had a hell of a week as a couple. His loyalty had come into question for the first time, but his public amazement at my presence washed it all away. I took full control of the moment, smiling brightly, enchanting the crowd. Everyone loves to celebrate love. I never wanted Collin to question meagain, so I had to do my part. I allowed my eyes to fill with the perfect amount of tears, not enough for any to actually fall and ruin my makeup but plenty to show the emotion. They glistened. Collin began to cry as well. Perfection. Five hundred people were watching and everyone could tell he was completely obsessed with me. I did it. Here was a man who truly loved me and cherished me. A man about to promise that he would never leave me. I only broke our gaze one time to take a quick gander at the audience, to revel a bit in everyone’s obligatory admiration of me. Amidst the largely unfamiliar faces, I was startled to see one that I recognized instantly.
Dave Bradford. The Cat Man.
He also recognized me, with that knowing grin of his, eye contact activated. Was it genuine? Was it menacing? It was difficult to say because despite my disgust at his potentially sleazy social circle, he looked like a cheat day snack in his suit, momentarily throwing meoff-balance. I had to put my focus back on Collin, careful not to let my sights veer in Hello Handsome’s direction again.
But I could not stop thinking about him.
•••
THE OFFICIANT WASin the middle of reciting some meaningful passages about marriage that wouldn’t offend anyone’s respective religious sensibilities. And there I was tuning him out, plotting an opportune time to sneak another furtive glance at Dave Bradford. Incredibly fast and imperceptible to anyone else, except for him. He was grinning right back at me. It was unnerving and unsettling and hot and sexy and my mind immediately went to dark places. I wanted to be ravaged by him in the bridal suite at our earliest convenience.
Stop it.
Collin said I do. Seconds later I said the same. And when we kissed to seal the deal on our most blessed of wedding days, eyes closed, it was Dave Bradford I imagined on the receiving end of my lips.
Damn it.
Yes, he was hot, but he was also dangerous. A friend of my foe. In possession of a secret—he knew I had lied when we met. What would he say to Collin? What could I say if Dave told the truth? Why must I always put myself in situations like this? So precarious. So stimulating. Why?
Stupid question. I knew exactly why.
Despite trying not to think about her the entire day, and nearly succeeding,thatwas the moment. I reminded myself of her in every way and I was ashamed. I should have known there would be no escaping my mother that day.
After all, I was the bride.
DAUGHTER
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
MOTHER IS PUNISHINGme. I am not allowed to have a life without her. How dare I try? What was I thinking? Not her bunny. So now she wants to show me what that could be like in Las Vegas. What our life could be if she doesn’t work, if we don’t work together, as a team. Mother and I have quickly become “off-Strip” in every way, and I hate it. She puts us up in a one-bedroom apartment in a hellacious building that looks like a motel. She has the money for more, even without Francis. She knows I know that, and it delights her to hurt me this way. If I want us to get out of this, it’s up to me, she says. She will not lift one finger.
Didn’t I recognize everything she did for me?
Didn’t I realize the privileges that came with the life she gave to me?
Didn’t I see that by putting us in front of the right men, we were able to cut the line?
