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He must notice my hesitance and steps back. “I’m sorry, I’m moving too fast. I shouldn’t have…”
“No, no, it’s not that. I want more than anything to invite you in, but there is something you need to know first. Something that is embarrassing for me.”
He steps closer and caresses my cheek, then tucks a loose hair behind my ear, “Sweetheart, you can tell me anything.”
I lean in close and whisper in his ear, “I’m a virgin.” Somehow, whispering it to him seems a lot easier than looking him directly in the eye and saying it. I know he heard me, but he does not say a word. Instead, he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.
After a few minutes, he breaks the awkward silence between us. “Baby, we don’t have to rush anything.”
A giggle escapes. “I don’t think you understand. I want to do this, I really do. Saving myself for something that I know won’t happen. Someday I will tell you the whole sad story, but yes, I want this, I just wanted you to know beforehand.”
I take his hand and lead him up the stairs to my apartment.
6
JANUARY, 2017
“Hey Sam, what’s wrong with you tonight?” Callie asks me as I am cleaning the bar for the night. “You haven’t been yourself all night.”
I drop the rag on the counter and walk over to her. “I was hoping nobody noticed. Have I been that obvious?”
“Naw, not to customers, but I definitely noticed a difference. What’s goin’ on?”
I sit down on one of the bar stools. “Callie, can you keep a secret?” Callie has been a great boss, and I truly think I can trust her.
“Of course I can. It would amaze you at all the confidences I keep with all the girls that work here.” She giggles. “I’m like a den mother.” Well, she has a point.
“I’m pregnant,” I say as the tears fall down my cheeks.
“Hawk?” she asks hesitantly.
“Yes.”
“I can’t help this next question, but I gotta ask. Are you sure it’s Hawk’s?”
“Definitely sure. I have not been with anyone else besides Hawk.” I’m sure she is thinking since I have been seeing him, but she does not know. The baby is definitely his.
“Does he know?”
“Not yet. I’ve been trying to get the courage to tell him.”
“Oh sweetie, you could not have picked a better man. He will be over the moon when he finds out he’s gotta a kid on the way. You have nothing to fear.” She hugs me. “And word on the street is he’s bought you a ring. He’s already been planning on making it official. This will be the icing on the cake.”
“Really?”
