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She nods. “I’m sure I will. And for the record, if your momma was here, I know she’d be so proud of you.”
My body tenses a little because it’s been a while since we’ve discussed my parents at all. When I was growing up, she always made it a point to tell me about them and what they were like. She’d always show me photos of them playing with me when I was a baby. There were quite a few pictures from before their death, just before my first birthday.
But no amount of photos seems like enough when you know you’ll never take any again.
I used to ask a lot of questions about my parents, but after a while, I felt like it just made my grandparents sad. I mean, I lost a mother, but they lost their only daughter. And they knew her a whole heck of a lot better than I did.
To avoid making them sad, I just stopped bringing up my parents at all. And I never wanted them to think that I wasn’t happy with the life they provided for me.
Grandma interrupts my thoughts. “Why do you always make that face when I bring up your mother?”
“What face?”
“Like a cat who ate the canary.”
I don’t say anything, so she adds, “Spill it.”
“I just don’t want it to make everyone sad.”
“Oh.” She nods her head and thinks for a moment. “Shane, I do still miss your momma. Some days, I miss her so much it hurts. And I wonder what she’d be like now. But before your parents left this Earth, they blessed us with you. And that is the best gift in the world.”
She rubs the top of my hand as she continues, “I don’t ever want us to stop talking about them. Talking about them helps to keep their memory alive.”
I guess I’d never really thought about it like that.
“Okay, Grandma.”
My phone vibrates on the table, and without looking at it, I suspect it’s Jenna.
Ihopeit’s Jenna.
I try to ignore it, but Grandma glances at the screen.
“Looks likeSunshineis messaging you. Go on, get out of here, and go talk to your girl.”
Standing up, I give her another kiss on the cheek before heading into my bedroom. I may not have parents in my life, but I feel pretty damn lucky for the grandparents I was blessed with.
Chapter Twenty-four
Jenna
Ilove Halloween. It’s so much fun to see everyone dressed up, pretending to be someone other than themselves.
Typically, I go all out picking out a crazy costume I can have a ton of fun with. Even when I was too old to trick-or-treat, I still loved dressing up every year.
This year, things look a bit different. I’m not at some fancy party in an elaborate costume, and I’m not drinking and dancing the night away.
Nope. This year, I’m sitting on my couch with some candles lit, watching a marathon of horror movies. I’m going to spend my evening with Shane—if he ever gets off work.
And as for my costume? I ordered something super sexy—and see-through—to wear whenever he gets here. But for now, I’m in sweatpants and a t-shirt. I guess I’m dressed up as a comfortable person.
Glancing at the clock, I wonder what time I’m going to see Shane. We didn’t see each other yesterday since Momma insisted on coming over to have dinner with me. I’ve been canceling on her a lot lately, so she probably wanted to make sure I was still alive.
It was okay, I guess. She didn’t drive me insane, so that’s a plus. But I missed Shane. Seeing him every evening got me spoiled.
It hasn’t been that long since we started this whole thing, but he makes me happy, and I’m crazy about him. He doesn’t make me feel bad about myself even though my life seems to be in shambles.
When Shane’s around, I feel…whole.
