I press my heels into his back.I want him even closer, which isn’t possible.Will’s cock twitches inside me.It’s sexy and intimate and…and unbelievable that he wants me to do this now.
“I don’t want to hurt you.I don’t want you to have to remember all those things when we’re—”
“You’re not going to hurt me.”His brow furrows, and he rocks his hips again.“Or if it hurts, it’s not going to be from you.”
“I swear, Will, you don’t have to force yourself.I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
“I don’t want it to be a mistake at all.”The edge to his voice isn’t angry.For a couple heartbeats I can’t place it, but then it’s obvious.He’s determined.Will’s made up his mind, and when he’s decided, he goes after what he wants.He takes the risk.“You’re not going to live the rest of your life wondering if it’s going to set me off to give me a goddamn hug.”
The rest of your liferings in my ears and sinks down into my skin.It makes my heart feel huge.“Okay.”
“Do it, Bristol.”
I think he might close his eyes, but he doesn’t.He looks into mine.Will’s trembling, all through his body.
I touch his chest first.Feel his heart pound through his skin.
Then I slide my hands up, slow and steady, to his shoulders.“Okay?”
He nods, teeth gritted.
I get my arms the rest of the way and clasp my fingers lightly at the base of his neck.“Okay?”
Will shakes his head.
I move to let go.
“No.Don’t.Just—” He’s using both arms to hold himself up, but his left hand lifts off the mattress an inch.I think he’d hold my hands still, if he could, so I don’t move them.He finally gives in and closes his eyes.
“I’ll wait.”What is it he said to Mia in the hospital?“I’ll wait with you.”
His eyes snap open.There’s painful vulnerability there.Surprise.“What did you say?”
“I’ll wait with you.Until you’re okay.”
“I’m okay now.”It sounds tentative.He’s trying to convince himself more than me.“I’m okay now.Nothing’s happening.”
“Something’s happening,” I point out, heat tiptoeing up my spine.“You feel good.But you’re right, nothing—nothing bad is happening.Is that what it feels like?”
“Yeah.”His lips form a thin line.More tension gathers in his muscles.“Like every shitty memory at once.It—” Will’s face crumples.“It hurts.”
Oh, no.“Does every soft thing hurt like that?”
Because I’ve seen something like this on his face every time we’ve been together.It’s just that now, Will’s not hiding it.
“Yes,” he admits.
“We’ll figure it out.”I don’t care that it might be hard, or that he might sometimes push my hands away, or that it’ll mean remembering things he’d rather not think about.“Good things don’t have to hurt.It’s okay if they don’t.You’ll still be you.”
His eyes go wide.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No.”Impatience flickers over his face.“You’re perfect.You couldn’t do anything wrong if you tried.Sometimes—” The skin around his eyes tightens.“It feels so terrible that I can’t see, and all those memories—” Will refocuses, his eyes dropping to my lips.“But it’s not so bad right now.It’s getting better.It’s just you.”
I take a tiny risk and unclasp my fingers, then run my fingertips over the back of his neck.Will sucks in a breath.His cock pulses inside me and all that tension turns into something else.Something good.“Just me.”
“Bristol.”God, he has beautiful eyes.