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“Well, it’s kind of close to her dinner time, that’s why.” Mariah rolled her eyes. “Sometimes with you it’s like having another kid.”
“If you really don’t want me to take her, I won’t.”
“No, it’s fine.” She turned to Clancy. “Why don’t you go grab a jacket? It’s cool out.”
“Okay!” she said, running out of the room.
With my daughter gone, the silence was deafening.
“When are we going to tell her?” Mariah asked.
I placed my head in my hands. “I don’t have the heart. You know that. If it were up to me…never.”
“You’re just going to keep taking her for ice cream and hope the issue disappears? It’s not going to be any easier if we wait.”
“I agree. But… She’s too young to understand that it’s not her fault.” I raked my hands through my hair. “Maybe we should put it off for just a little while longer.”
She shook her head. “I need to move on with my life, Archie. This situation is suffocating me.”
I lowered my voice. “Is this about Andy?”
“No. He hasn’t put any pressure on me at all.” Mariah crossed her arms. “But I’m not happy. I think you and I need our space. We can’t have that until we tell her.”
Staring up at the ceiling, I blew out a breath. Mariah was right, but I wasn’t ready for the drastic changes that would come from taking this step. The thought of living apart from my daughter killed me. Once we told Clancy we were getting a divorce, the next step would be for me to move out. I was in no rush to do that. But I had to respect Mariah’s wishes. She had every right to her independence, especially since I was the primary reason our marriage had fallen apart.
“Okay,” I conceded. “When do you want to do it?”
“This weekend.”
My chest tightened as she turned and walked out.
After Clancy and I got to the ice cream shop, I sat across from her, watching as she devoured her blueberry cone with rainbow sprinkles. She didn’t know what was about to hit her.
My sweet daughter was going to be blindsided by her parents in just a few short days.
CHAPTER 19
NOELLE
JASON GAVE ME a foot rub as I filled him in on my medical appointment earlier today.
“So…I spoke to my OBGYN this afternoon, and he said if I want the best chance at conceiving, I should probably move forward soon. Even though I’m still relatively young, it only gets more difficult with age.”
A couple of years ago, I’d been diagnosed with endometriosis. I was told it might complicate my ability to conceive and that the sooner I got on that, the better. I’d always hoped to have a child by thirty. Well, now I was thirty. I’d come to the conclusion that I needed to take matters into my own hands.
“I want to be sure you’re really okay with this before I commit,” I told him.
“Would that change anything?” he asked.
“No. But it makes me feel better to know you support me.”
“I do.” Jason squeezed my foot. “I’ve already told you that.”
He and I’d had many heart-to-hearts lately about my desire to have a child of my own. I no longer felt the need to be married in order to make that happen. Jason had two grown kids and no interest in starting over again, and he’d also had a vasectomy years ago. That was reversible, but he’d made it clear he wasn’t interested in having another child—or raising anyone else’s. I had to respect that.
To be honest, maybe that worked out better for me since it removed the pressure of worrying about how our relationship might impact anything. Having a child was something I wanted to do for me. Deep down I supposed it hurt a little that he’d ruled himself out as a potential father. It would’ve been nice to have that option, even if it probably wasn’t the best one. That said, I’d known what I was getting into when I started dating Jason. He’d always been transparent with me, which I appreciated.
When I expressed interest in seeking an anonymous sperm donor, I’d wondered if Jason would run the other way. It took a lot of confidence for a guy to accept his girlfriend having another man’s child—even if the man was anonymous. But Jason was nothing if not secure in himself. He oozed confidence, which was one of the reasons he was so successful, and one of the things I found so attractive about him. Thankfully, since I’d first told him what I wanted to do, he’d fully supported my decision.
“I spoke to the cryobank people today as well,” I continued. “I have some paperwork I need to fill out, but I paid the initial fee, so they gave me access to their database of options.”
“What are you going for?” he asked.
