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Jesus. I’d really been out of the loop. I’d never loved Mariah, but my heart broke for her and for Archie. My voice trembled. “I feel like a terrible friend that I didn’t know any of this.”
“Please. I intentionally hid it from you because I was ashamed.”
“I’m so sorry, Archie.”
“As we speak, my wife is at her boyfriend’s house while I stay home with our sleeping kid.”
Oh man. “God…I’m…” I shook my head. “Wow.”
“How the fuck did I get here, Noelle?”
I took a deep breath in and exhaled. “You made the decision you felt was best for your child, and you tried.”
“Did I, though? I couldn’t even fake it after a while. Clearly I didn’t try that hard.”
“Archie, you’re human. We all make mistakes.”
“This was a pretty damn big one.” He sighed. “I’d always known I wasn’t cut out for marriage. I should’ve known better, and now my daughter has to pay for my poor judgment. It might’ve been better if she hadn’t had her parents together from the start.”
“You’re perfectly capable of being a good dad to her, even if you’re not married to her mom. People make it work all the time. In fact, you’ll probably be a better dad without the added pressure of a marriage you weren’t happy in.”
A few seconds passed. “As always, you’re very wise, my friend. Thank you for being here when I need you, even if I haven’t been the greatest friend lately.”
“I’ve been distant, too,” I told him. “I thought I was doing the right thing by giving you space.”
“Space from you is not something I’ve ever wanted,” he said.
His words gave me pause. Before I could overanalyze them, he spoke again.
“You’ve always been the type of friend where things pick up right where they left off, no matter how much time has passed.”
Not exactly. We were never able to pick up from that one moment in time I seemed to be stuck in when it came to Archie.
“Where will you be living?” I asked.
“I’m gonna start looking for a place this week. Clancy will live here with Mariah, and we’ll work out an arrangement amicably so she can stay with me some of the time. That’s the one good thing about this. Mariah and I are on pretty good terms.” He sighed. “I don’t think I’ll be okay for a while, though. Not after seeing my baby cry tonight.”
Pain gripped my heart. “Do you still see a therapist?” I asked.
“No. I stopped years ago.”
“Maybe it would be a good idea to go back. There are a lot of feelings to work out here.”
“I think you might be right.” He let out a long breath. “God. It’s so good to hear your voice. I’ve missed the calming effect it has on me.”
I closed my eyes, angry at my foolish heart for leaping so easily whenever he complimented me. Old habits died hard, no matter how many times I’d tried to kill them over the years. As much as I cared about Archie, he’d closed the door on a romantic relationship with me years ago. He’d made decision after decision that created more distance between us. I was finally in a good place after the trauma of watching the man I’d pined for marry someone else. Little did he know, I’d been to therapy myself through the years—in part to get over him. I needed to continue to keep my feelings in check for my own well-being.
“I saw those photos of you and Jason that your coworker tagged you in,” he said.
“Oh…I wondered what you were referring to in your email because I knew I didn’t post anything.”
Archie cleared his throat. “Things seem to be going well with him?”
“Yeah.” I picked some lint off my pants. “We’ve been together about nine months now. It’s a nice, low-key relationship. No expectations. Just mutual respect. We have a really good time together.”
After a moment, he said, “Well, that’s good. I’m happy you’re happy.”
There was a lot I hadn’t told Archie—namely my plans to have a baby on my own. But it wasn’t the appropriate time to drop that bomb. Tonight was about Archie, not me. I’d send him a message about my news when his mind was clearer.
“You’ll get through it, Archie. I know you will. Your daughter will be better off in the long run, having two parents who are happier apart than they were together.”
He sighed. “I hope so.”
Archie and I spent about an hour on the phone catching up. Among other things, he told me he was in the process of getting his mother’s house ready to be sold. He was currently letting a friend of hers stay there.
“I can’t thank you enough for making time for me tonight,” he said.
“I told you I’d always be there for you. That’s the way it works with us.”
