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“Like the agave?” I asked.
“Different,” he affirmed, “but in a good way, only because it was with her. She took extra shifts for the money, even if it was raining.”
“Like it is now?”
“Yes, even worse. But she put me through school, she encouraged me to be an actor, even if I wasn't sure I could be. She did a lot for me,” he paused, “for us.”
I craned my neck to meet his face, my hands held in a prayer, tucked along his abs.
“Us? So you have siblings?”
“A brother.” He said swiftly, “Younger.”
“What’s he like?”
“A lot like you,” he pointed with his chin. “I see something in your eyes that I’ve seen before.”
“Like what?” I asked, pulling up closer. Suddenly I felt so small, lost in his hands, frightened that if he let go a coldness would replace his touch.
“We used to haveneighborstoo…” He said softly, using my encoded word with gentle consideration.
“Would they fight?”
“All the time, and it would scare him. I hated to see him like that though, so I would go find him.”
“Find him?”
“Yes, he’d hide under the bed, but I’d join too, not out of fear, but worry. I’d hold him and tell him that he’d always be protected, so long as I was around.”
“And you see that in me?”
“I saw it a long time ago, in the moments where you touched your neck, the look you gave Gerard when he mentioned your mother. It was all the same. I knew it when I saw you, you’re reliving the same fear that I saw in my brother.”
My lip twitched from his story, the comparison of me to his brother. It felt familiar, and though I shouldn’t have cared, it still hurt to be seen this way. Was this all I was capable of conveying? “So I’m like a sibling to you?” I asked.
“A sibling?” he growled, his grip tightened along my back. “What a fucking thing to say.” My folded hands dug into his chest causing me to gasp as he pulled me in. “Ask me that again, and I’ll show you what you are to me.” I blinked at his words, their stinging promise a key to my parted lips. I hated it, the control he had over my body, separate from my mind which begged me to stop. I wanted to scream but couldn't, I could only feel the slick warmth slipping between my legs.
“Why are you so persistent?” I pulled away from his grip, knowing if I continued to get close, I’d lose myself in his touch, and I just couldn’t risk that.
“Persistent as you are stubborn,” he said with a deep rumble from his chest. “You still can’t see it?”
“Stop acting like you know me! Just because…” I couldn’t even say it out loud, the words I knew were true; our pasts were probably similar, they were most likely fucked up and messy, yet talking about them felt nearly impossible.
“Say it,” he commanded. “That is, if you have the courage.”
“Sorry I’m not brave like you,” I hissed. “But I don't need a protector, I’m not your brother.”
“Fuck protection. You’re a mouthy good girl who gets under my skin, but maybe that’s what I want. I was brave because he needed me to be, I was a better person because of what he saw.”
“Is that why I’m out here, is that why you need me to know you?” I laughed, “Tell me what you want me to see, but I can’t make you be a better person from that alone.”
“I don't know what you’ll make me, probably fucking crazy, but I’m here to find out.” His slithered accent licked around my ears. “Fuck what it costs me, I know what I want and what I see.”
“And what do you see in me?” I challenged, unable to fathom what set me apart from all the possible women that surely plagued his life.
“My past and my future!” He shouted, yanking me close. The sweet mint from his lips matched the cherry scent I quivered to taste. Alejandro’s frustrated exhale came out in a groan, manifested in his resistance to do god knows what. Take me? Fuck me? I would never allow it.
“Don’t put that on me. I’m not bonded over my past; I’m running from it. You andno one elseneeds to know about that part of my life. I’ve already told you, we’re not the same. What do you know about a troubled home anyway? You had both your parents, not even I had that.” I pushed him aside, but he followed close.
