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“Both my parents?” he asked. “And you think that’s better?”
“I wouldn’t know! I have no father! And what could you say about that? You probably couldn’t be as honest as you think. It’s hard for people like us, and if you think we’re so similar then neither of us are getting answers.”
“You want to know what I think?” he seethed. “On what a father is, on what it’s like to have one in the house?” He turned to a large portrait, a black and white photo of a family eating dinner. He grimaced at the photo, observing a man at the head of the table, a patriarchal figure whose face warped into a frown.
“Alejandro?” I hesitated, his intense stare not once shaken.
“Not everything can be said at once, but what I have is how I show it. I can grow though; I can learn from you, from us.” The swish and clink of a switchblade alerted my attention as Alejandro took one out of his pocket. His eyes boiled with a redness that scared me, almost glowing amongst the dark. I jumped, petrified as he swung at the photo. He slit it in half, cracking the glass, shattering millions of fragments onto the floor.
“Alejandro!” I screamed, my mouth covered as an alarm blared through the halls. “What did you just do?” I shrilled, unable to fully process what I just witnessed.
“I fixed it.” He snapped. I looked up at the alarms, at the flashing white lights that strobed through the pitch-dark halls.
“We need to leave!” The panic in my voice felt unmatched to his collected expression. Without words, he gently guided my elbow towards an adjacent fire exit.
“What’s another alarm going to hurt?” He asked shoving it open, triggering a new chirping siren. I wanted to run, but that made me feel more guilty, so instead I quickened my pace. My brisk strides weren’t quite a jog, but short of just that, as we entered the street.
“What the hell was that back there?” I pulled my hand away from his, moving away from the electric chaos that was now The Met. “Why would you do that, Alejandro?” The pounding rain continued to pour on us, this time, without the shelter of his jacket.
“Why are you so defiant?” he questioned. “Did that frustrate you?”
“Yes!” I shouted. “It pissed me off!”
“Good. Now you know what it’s like to try and break through your walls.” He reached for my hand, but I pulled away. I felt foolish, letting him inside my mind, being vulnerable to such a sporadic man. He was so spontaneous, so jarring, I was shaking with adrenaline.
“No. That’s not the same! You can’t go around acting like the world is your playground.” I shoved passed his large body. “Famous or not, you have no right.”
“Just stop already!” He shouted, following close. I scoffed at his command, seeking shelter under a nearby canopy.
“What do you want from me?” I screamed.
“You.” He groaned loudly, a noise that emitted from his core, short of a shout. “I did what I did, it was compulsive and raw, and I don’t regret it. You may think you’re clever, hiding behind your mask, but I see past that, and it’s that person, the one beneath I’m trying to catch.”
He stood in front of me, his hair dripping, slicked back from the rain. He felt like a dream, or maybe a nightmare. He was a bastard, he was persistent, but most of all, my body was hopelessly addicted.
I couldn’t accept such an idea, that we were alike, but I had seen those eyes before, the same he had while staring at that photo. They were mine, a similar expression he described, the very thing he saw in me: sad, messy, and fucked up. Is this truly what he wanted?
“I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.” I took a step forward, raising my hand to hail a cab. I was stopped by a firm but gentle pressure wrapped around my wrist, squeezing me securely. Alejandro spun me around, pinning me against the wall as he raised my arms above my head. My stomach caved in on itself, sucked from the force of air as his forehead pressed against mine.
“Gemma, you don’t know what you do to me.” His chest rose with a rhythm, a frustrating pace desperate for air that we both fought to take. He leaned further, the strength of his toned body firmly pressed against mine. “Why is this so fucking hard to see that there is room to grow, a chance for us?”
His lips hovered right above mine, seeking approval. The lines were blurred, my urges clearly begged me to lean in, to taste the nectar of his full lips, but the thought scared me. I was the girl inLatchkey Rose, but I was also my mother’s daughter. I was afraid of what letting him in would do, of what a man like him could do to someone like me. His palm grazed my wet cheek, pulling me closer, and as much as my blood burned and stomach dipped to be touched, I couldn’t allow it.
“Let go of me,” I huffed out, signaling the release of his grip. He listened, his eyes still stern as I walked away. “You’ve got the wrong girl.” I reached out, singling a cab.
“Says you. I know who you are and what you're worth. Not even your friend sees that, but I promise you this, I’ll show you what I see, and better yet, I’ll make you feel it.” He looked away, almost concerned, giving me a shot of those dark eyes for a silent goodbye.
I knew he meant it, the things he said, but to imagine their possibility was far too real. How would that feel, what would that be? It was a terrifying reality that he could see me, more than a sister, more than a facade.
This was all I needed to know, convinced if I didn't shut the cab door, he’d come take me away. I had no choice, not with my fears, and if I’d let him come any closer, he would do it immediately. All I had, all I needed was the urge to drive away.
CHAPTER 14
What would it take to get him out of my head? If only there was a pill or a wish, anything to rid Alejandro from my mind, I would take it or do it. The cab ride home was incredibly quiet, although the thoughts in my head were loud. I was practically screaming as I checked my phone, almost expecting an alert to warn me of my inevitable arrest. Honestly, I just wanted the night to end, to dissolve into the dark and sleep it away.
The cabbie pulled over, pointing at the meter for payment. I handed him cash, my hands still damp from the rain which continued to pour outside. I think he sensed my exhaustion, avoiding the smeared makeup casually running under my eyes. If only he had known the night I had.
I stepped out, still without my umbrella, unprotected by Alejandro's jacket. I didn’t need a man to shield me from the rain, or to save my night, nor did I need one to watch a play or eat dinner with. I didn’t need anyone, but I wanted someone, and there in lied the problem. My wants and my needs never aligned. I liked the idea, hell, I loved it, but it never worked out. Did I judge too much, were my expectations too high? Maybe I was the crazy one, not slashing gallery art or sucking down shellfish? But what I needed was a reset and quite possibly a bath.
