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She was right next to Tommy now, sharing the space with the bump of their shoulders.
Christ, all I could see was what Mila saw, a perfect couple, with adorable kids. I tried not to crease a cardboard piece in my hand, keeping my eyes down to the image below us as I made my way back to Gemma.
This was starting to get obvious.
“Ok, the German Shepard is a good idea,” Mom conceded out loud. “But it’s too big. I need something smaller, but that could match the family?”
“Something grumpy, like a lawyer and a judge.” Tommy said, checking Gemma for a laugh.
She didn’t reply, but side-eyed me as I leaned against the counter, resting by her side.
God she was warm, unlike Mila’s cold feet, and as awful as it was to imagine, I pictured Gemma and I calling it a night, returning back to the very same bed we used to share. Wouldn’t that be so nice? So absolutely perfect; like the end of a story that finally had its happy ending.
Tommy and Mom continued to talk as I turned toward Gemma’s face, her pineapple makeup wash a teasing scent I fought to inhale.
“Mila is thinking about canoeing tomorrow,” I said, hoping for a response.
“Mmmm,” she hummed, unenthused.
She was giving me nothing.
“How about Madoo Conservancy? I can take you to see the flowers?”
“Me or everyone included?” she asked, snapping a puzzle piece into place.
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t,” she whispered, “and that’s the problem.”
“Not a problem… just something we can talk about.”
“I think you’ve said enough tonight,” she trembled for a second as Tommy announced to the group.
“Oh! A Schnauzer would be perfect. Small, but dignified, cute but also a curmudgeon old man.”
“I love it.” Mom already opened up her phone, searching for breeders. “What do you think, Gemma?” she asked, and I begged the same thing.
What do you think, what you do feel? And goddamn it, don’t hold back right now!
Without an ounce of self-preservation, Gemma looked up at me, hurt by who she saw before her, screaming with a look that held a million different interpretations. I ruined her puzzle, her night, her trip, and maybe our friendship. All that came through was the small drop in her voice, one I knew she hid so well.
“I think… I’m going to bed.” She responded, turning away from the counter, and leaving the room.
As obvious as I was, I turned to follow her, Mom’s eyes meeting mine with the most suspicious smile. She didn’t need to say anything, she already knew the tension in the room, the obvious truth she so unapologetically declared at dinner last night. And she was right, I was obsessed with Gemma, but that didn’t phase Tommy as he stepped in my way.
“Hey, can I get a second?” he asked, backpedaling as I left the kitchen.
“Um, ya.” I looked up the stairs, seeing Gemma already reaching the top before I could catch her.
“I need to get your opinion.”
“If this is about Tri-Tech again, I already told you, I put in a good word with MelBrook.”
“No. I don’t care about that,” he waved away. “This is more serious, but it’s hard to talk about.”
“Well just say it.” I looked back and forth, between Tommy and the empty stairs, losing complete sight of Gemma.
“Just don’t be so defensive.”
