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She shook her head. “Nothing. I’m glad I’ve been able to help.”
“What’s the ‘but’? Because there’s plainly a ‘but.’ I can see that big brain of yours working and I’m worried I won’t like what you’re thinking.”
Did they have to do this? They’d ended one fight, and this felt like it would start another. “My mind’s always going. It’s nothing to worry about. I’m trying to live in the present for once in my life. I spent so much time worried about the future that I forgot to enjoy anything I had.”
“And you’re trying to enjoy me now?” The question came out ever so softly.
That felt like a trap, but there was only one real answer. “Yes.”
“You need to enjoy me now because you won’t be here to enjoy me later.”
“That sounds selfish on my part, but yes.” She got ready for the storm, for him to strike back, because she knew the last thing he liked her talking about was the fact that she was going to leave.
She had to, didn’t she? Didn’t she owe it to the kid who’d gotten out? The one who’d worked so hard to leave this town. The one who’d spent all her time in books, working toward a future that hadn’t turned out the way she’d planned.
Instead, he sighed and reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s okay, baby. You can be scared for a little while longer. You can tell yourself I’m just a rebound guy and there’s nothing real between us. You can pretend this is all sex and that we don’t belong together. You can say it all right up until the moment you need to decide whether you want to stay or go back to the city.”
She didn’t like how much he saw through her. “You think you’ll be enough to keep me here?”
“No. I think you’ll figure out what you want, what you truly want to do with the rest of your life, and then you’ll either let me live that life with you or not. Because I will want to live that life with you. I won’t change my mind or decide you’re too difficult. I’m not with you because I want to rebel against my mother. I’m a fully grown man, and I know what’s in my heart, and that’s you, Jayna. You mean more to me than anything else. More than my family. More than this town. If you leave and you let me, I’ll go with you. I’ll make a life where you want to be.”
She pulled away, taking the sheet with her. She wasn’t ready for this. “You don’t mean that. You’re not going to leave Papillon. You have a business here.”
He made no move to cover himself again, simply left his gorgeous, muscular body on display. “You mean more.”
She shook her head, easing off the bed and putting some distance between them. “That’s ridiculous, Quaid. You’re not going to leave your home.”
“What if you’re my home?” He asked the question and then immediately held up a hand. “I’m sorry. I’m going too fast. It’s all right. We still have time.”
How much time? Weeks? A couple of months? She’d talked to the lawyer Quaid had secured for her, and she thought things would move fairly quickly. Apparently Todd and his family now wanted the whole thing done and over so they could focus on his new family. They wanted to forget she ever existed and move on, which would leave her completely free to do the same.
Did she want to move on without Quaid? Without Sienna and her nieces? She’d only recently figured out how nice it was to have an actual life that didn’t revolve around working every minute of the day, that included eating boxed mac andcheese with giggling girls and spending long hours arguing with a sexy man who cleaned when she cooked.
But how could she stay here? If she did stay, where the hell would she go when Quaid inevitably figured out how impossible she could be?
He got up and walked to her, not hiding an inch of his gorgeous body. He moved right in and kissed the top of her head, the tender gesture nearly undoing her. “Stop worrying. I won’t push you anymore. We’re fine right where we are. Now let’s get you some dinner. I would bet the dining room is starting to close down, but I assure you Remy will still feed us.”
He stepped away and picked up his pants.
She stood there feeling like she’d missed some chance she hadn’t even known she’d wanted, something infinitely precious slipping through her fingers but she couldn’t quite make it stop. There should be something she could say that would make this all better.
But there wasn’t and she didn’t understand why. Why couldn’t she accept that he knew what he wanted? Because it was too soon? What was the right amount of time? Was there some countdown clock she could check that would tell her okay, now it’s all right to think the man knows his mind? Was there an alarm that would go off that let her know it was now time for her to accept the feelings she knew she had?
A knock on the door brought her out of those inner questions, making her remember that they’d basically told the whole town they were going to skip dinner in favor of having sex in an upstairs room.
It would be a story they would talk about forever. Her kids would hear the story of how their dad...
She’d just thought about having kids with Quaid Havery. Tears pierced her eyes because it wouldn’t work. How could they have kids when their families were in such disarray?When her own mom wouldn’t talk to her? When his mom thought she wasn’t good enough?
“Hey, you must have turned off your cell,” Remy was saying. Quaid stood at the door, a crack letting him hear what his friend had to say. “The sheriff’s office called and there’s been an accident. It’s Paul and your mom. You should get to the clinic fast. Lila is calling in a CareFlight.”
She heard Quaid curse softly and then she dropped every worry she had along with that sheet as she dressed as quickly as she could.
It didn’t matter that the town would know what they’d been doing or that his mother wouldn’t want her there.
All that mattered was supporting him.
•••
