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“I find it hard to sleep too.”
“You do?” He didn’t seem the type to find anything difficult. He always seemed so confident. “I’m so sorry.” Before she even thought about it, she had her arms wrapped around him. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Shit.”
“What is it?” she asked.
“You’re really fucking sweet, aren’t you?”
“Is that a bad thing?”
Judd sighed and lifted her up, holding her against his chest with her legs dangling in the air. “No, I’m just a fucking idiot.” He set her down on the counter and then put his arms on either side of her, trapping her in. “I know I can be a bossy asshole. I am . . . protective of my brothers.”
“And you think I’ll hurt them. I get it.”
She did.
Because she thought that too.
He shook his head. “You shouldn’t be so understanding, so forgiving.”
His grumpy, bossy nature . . . it was just him. And it was only because he cared.
He cared so much that he took everything on himself. Every failure was his failure.
She ran her fingers through his short hair, massaging his scalp. “You were lying awake?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure there’s nothing I can do?”
“No.” Then he looked thoughtful. “But maybe I can help you.”
“Judd. It’s okay to let other people take care of you, you know.”
“I think we can look after each other. I feel more relaxed when I’m looking after someone.”
“Oh. Like me?”
“Like you. And I know you feel more relaxed in Little space. I might not feel like your Daddy yet, but maybe you can trust me enough to help you?”
“I . . .” She didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t exactly feel like her Daddy. Not like the others did.
But she wanted that with him.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Good girl. Let’s get you ready for bed. All Little girls need to feel snuggly and safe. So let’s see what we can find to make you feel that way.”
She half-expected him to pick her up and carry her to his bed. Instead, he moved into the kitchen and started searching through a drawer.
She slid off the counter and walked over to him. “Whatcha searching for?”
Startled, he turned to look at her. “What are you doing? You shouldn’t get down off the counter on your own. It’s not safe.”
Oh. Right.
“But I did it fine.”
He shook his head at her. “No. You stay where you’re put, understand?”
“Yes. Sorry.” She glanced down at her feet. She hated disappointing him.
“Look at me.” He tilted her face back. “Nothing to get too upset about. I didn’t tell you that you weren’t to move, so it’s my fault, really.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
He drew out a baby bottle with a panda on it. She bit her lip, feeling nervous. And excited.
Then he grabbed some milk and warmed it in a pot before pouring it into the bottle.
She reached for it, but he shook his head.
“No, not yet. It’s too hot for you. Come on.” He picked her up with one arm, settling her on his hip. He carried her into the playroom she’d slept in the other day.
She tensed. “I don’t want to stay in here.”
“You don’t like it?” he asked as he set her down on the bed she’d slept in.
She chewed at her lip.
“You can tell me.”
She stared up at him. He looked so calm. So worried.
“I don’t want to be on my own,” she confessed.
“That’s good. Because neither do I. And it’s going to be hard for me to watch over you if we’re not together. Would you like to sleep with me? In my bed?”
She nodded.
“I just brought you in here to get you a onesie.”
“No. Like this.”
Heat filled his gaze. “You like wearing my T-shirt?”
She nodded.
“Good. I like that too.” He moved to a drawer and pulled out a pacifier, then he picked her up again and carried her to his room. He set the bottle and pacifier down on the bedside table. “Do you need to go potty, Baby Blue?”
She shook her head.
“Sure? You wouldn’t be lying to me?”
“No. I don’t need to go.”
He drew back the covers and sat on the bed with her on his lap. Reaching over, he grabbed the bottle. To her shock, he tested the milk’s temperature by squirting some onto his wrist.
“There we are. Just right.” He held the nipple up to her mouth and she parted her lips.
She drank the milk, cuddling into his chest. His strong arms held her tight, and she felt this sense of safety wrap over her.
What would it be like to have Judd take care of her the way he did the men he considered his family? With such passion and strength.
When she’d had enough, she drew away.
He rubbed her back for a moment as she yawned and snuggled into him.
“Good girl. I like that you’re letting me take care of you. So much. You’re doing so well. Here you are.” He held the pacifier to her mouth.
