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She still didn’t fully know what had happened with Ester, but Judd had been hurt by her.
Was what Owen said true? Did Judd want her to be his baby? Judd hadn’t really said anything. But then sometimes actions spoke louder than words. And perhaps it was better Judd didn’t talk.
That’s when he tended to annoy people.
Beck let her take in the playroom in silence. Everything was in shades of pink and white. There was pink wallpaper on the walls filled with white rabbits and doves. There were big white cupboards on one side of the room along with bookshelves and a small window seat. That looked so comfy. A pink fluffy beanbag chair made up the rest of the area.
Along the other end of the room was a daybed with a white canopy above it and a pink bedspread. Three sides of the bed had metal rails. The last side was open.
“This can turn into a crib or just be a daybed,” he explained, coming over to pull another side out from under the bed. He attached it to the free side.
Her heart raced.
“Do you think you’d like to nap in a crib or bed?” he asked her.
She didn’t know. She wasn’t sure that she should be in here. It wasn’t hers.
But you want it to be . . .
“Maybe the bed.”
Although she really wanted to say crib.
“What’s your favorite color, Freckles?”
“Oh, um, well, I like pink.”
He gave her a knowing look. “That’s not what I asked. What’s your favorite color? I’ve noticed you mainly wear dark colors. Is it black or navy blue?”
“Yellow. It’s yellow,” she whispered.
“I like yellow. Come here.” He tugged her into his arms, and she instantly felt more settled.
Like in his arms was where she was meant to be.
He picked her up, making her gasp. But then he settled down with her on his lap on the rocking chair by the bed.
She shifted around, snuggling into his chest.
“You feel so good in my arms. And I know Judd and Owen feel the same way.”
What about Hux? What was going on with him? There was definitely something wrong. And she was pretty sure it was her.
She was the problem.
“Are you doing okay? Anything you want to ask me? Talk about?”
She loved the way that Beck always checked in with her. Everything could be overwhelming, and he could bring her back down to the here and now with a few questions.
“Freckles?”
“I’m okay,” she whispered. “I’m just . . . Hux . . .”
“Ahh.”
“Is he upset with me? Did I do something wrong?”
“Whoa. No, Freckles. It has nothing to do with you. Well, it does. But not like what you’re thinking.”
“What do you mean?”
He sighed, running a finger down her cheek. “I should get him to talk to you about this.”
“Please tell me . . . I hate feeling like I’ve done something wrong.” Anxiety had her stomach rolling. She detested feeling this way.
“You have done nothing wrong,” he said firmly. “And I want you to stop thinking like that.”
Yeah, sure, she’d get right on that.
“Hux feels like he failed you yesterday.”
She frowned. “What? When those people from the Purity Party surrounded us?”
“Yes. He feels like he failed to protect you.”
That wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. “But that’s silly. He got me out of there. He saved me.”
“Maybe you can tell him that. Make him believe it. His father . . . well, that’s not my story to tell, but Hux doesn’t like feeling like a failure and his father made him feel that way constantly.”
That bastard.
“So don’t worry that it’s you. It’s not. You could never do anything wrong, Freckles.”
She wasn’t so sure of that.
He rocked her back and forth until her eyelids started to close.
“Time for your nap, Freckles.”
She made a noise of protest as he went to move.
“Come on, you’ll get a better sleep in the bed than on my lap.”
She didn’t think that was true, but she guessed he didn’t want to just sit there while she napped.
He laid her down on the bed and she felt him place a blanket over her.
She let out a small noise.
“What’s the matter, Freckles?”
“Amy Alpaca.” She hated sleeping without her stuffie.
“Shoot. Do you want me to go grab her from your room?”
“No. No, I’ll be all right.” She was used to doing without the things she wanted. And she didn’t want to make him go over to get Amy. Plus, then he’d have to carry her over here and someone might see him . . .
No, best to leave her there.
“Are you sure?”
“I sure, Daddy Beck.” She opened her eyes slightly to see him crouched beside her. There was concern in his eyes and she made herself smile to reassure him that she was good.
He placed his hand on the side of her face. “Beautiful girl. You can ask me for anything. I’ll move heaven and earth to give you what you need.”
