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“No, but if we cross paths with him, I’ll kill him and destroy the Zs.”
His stern look almost makes me shiver. I’ve never seen him like this, serious or… what is he? Upset with me? “And if you never cross paths with him, will you be okay with that?”
“Why are you asking that?”
“I want to make sure this isn’t just a plot to destroy him. If you build a company like this, you’re going to be hiring people that will need a job for more than just a few months while you hunt Zamudio. This will become the livelihood for many.”
“Why can’t people trust that I’m doing this because I’m passionate about it? If I set myself to do something, it’s because I have plans for the future, not because I’m bored.”
“Who asked you the same question?”
“It was about something different.” I pause because I don’t know if I want to tell him that I’m also writing books. “The point is that I set myself goals when I start a project. They aren’t just hobbies that I’ll abandon because there’s something better.”
Derek nods. “Why do you want me to be a part of it?”
“You trained me well. I not only believe that you can help prepare some of our recruits, but you can also be with me on the missions. I trust you.”
“Do you? Because you didn’t contact me when you left the Zs.” He’s not upset but sounds disappointed.
“I was a scared boy.”
He exhales and, after a couple of seconds, asks, “Can I think about it?”
“Of course. You have a life now, and I don’t want to disrupt it. You’re a therapist, right?”
“The practice runs itself. If we’re not going to be in the field for long, it should be perfectly fine. Just don’t tell my business partner, or she’ll freak out.” He winks at me.
“Why don’t you want to tell her?”
“She’ll figure out a way to be more hands-on, and we don’t want that. She finally learned to delegate and slow down.” He beams almost proudly at his accomplishment.
“Well, I hope you want to be a part of this.”
“How are you doing?”
“My life is better.”
He taps his head. “I mean emotionally and mentally. You still can’t remember anything, and though you seem to be welcoming this new life, I want to make sure you’re fine.”
“I’m angry about everything I had to do while living with Zamudio. I almost killed an innocent man. There are so many questions… What if I was just like the rest of the Zs? Losing my memory shouldn’t absolve me from the sins I committed.”
“Do you care about the past?”
The rage is taking over. I breathe rapidly. Ricardo Zamudio took something from me—something precious. Probably my parents or maybe that woman I dream about all the time. He destroyed my life, and I don’t even want it back. I can’t say any of that out loud.
“Finnegan, I need you to calm down,” Derek orders.
“It’s hard not to get angry.”
He smirks. “Try Relaxtune.”
My hands turn into fists. “I swear if one more person recommends that shit, I’m going to buy the company and shut it down.”
He laughs. “What do you have against it? It works.”
“The music sounds weird.” And I know it sounds stupid, but it bothers me that whoever created the app switched the frequency. What I feel like when it’s played for me suddenly becomes a screech or… it’s too hard to explain.
He shakes his head. “It doesn’t.”
