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She swallows thickly and nods. “Okay. And to answer your earlier question, yes, you can come visit. Just… please don’t make me regret it.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
GAGE
“Oh, my God, she’s so freaking adorable,” Kaylee says, watching the video of Aurora giggling. “And her eyes are totally yours. And her nose… well, aside from the nose ring.”
“When can we meet her?” Layla asks, watching the video over Kaylee’s shoulder.
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “They’re back in Virginia, and Sadie asked that we take things slow.” It’s been three days since I’ve seen them in person, but every night before bed, Sadie has called me so I could say good night to Aurora.
“Makes sense after everything she’s been through,” Declan says.
“I’m having back child support sent over to her, and she agreed to send pictures every day. I was thinking maybe this weekend I’ll fly there and see where they’re living and spend some time with them.” I haven’t spoken to Sadie about it yet, but when she calls tonight—if she calls—I’m going to bring it up.
“I’m very proud of you,” Sophia says, squeezing my shoulder. “You’re handling this all very well. If you need anything, you know we’re here for you.”
“I know, and I appreciate it.”
The truth is, I’m not handling this well at all. I’ve been to two NA meetings and had an emergency session with my therapist. Finding out that I have a daughter who I missed ten months with because of my addiction has been rough. I have a lot of regrets, and I can’t help feeling like I’ve already failed her and Sadie.
I started seeing Viola—my therapist here in New York—once I moved back when Pamela recommended I have someone to talk to in person. She understood where I was coming from but also pointed out that I can’t change the past, which is something I have issues with.
With my mom, I wanted to go back and save her. Same with Tori. Now, I regret not getting my shit together sooner, so Sadie wouldn’t have had to go at it alone, and Rory would know I was her dad from the beginning. But I can’t change any of that. All I can do is make shit right moving forward, which seems damn near impossible when they live over seven hundred miles away.
“All right, ladies, lunch has been fun, but we need to get back to work,” Camden says, standing and giving Layla and Marianna a kiss.
We spend the next few hours hammering out another song and nailing down the instrumentals with our producer. The songs are coming along smoothly, and if we continue like this, we should be able to start officially recording in the next few weeks.
As we’re finishing up for the day, my phone vibrates in my pocket, indicating an incoming call. Sadie’s name flashes across the screen, so I click accept, and her face, along with Rory’s, displays.
“Hey Gage, are you busy?” Sadie asks.
“Nah, we’re just finishing up in the studio.” I stand and wave to the guys, giving Sadie my full attention. Braxton follows me since we rode together because I’m still staying with him and Kaylee.
“If you want to call back—”
“I’m good.” There’s no way in hell I’m going to turn her away when she calls me. I don’t care where I am or what I’m doing.
“Okay, well, it’s Rory’s bedtime.” Every night she’s called me around this time, so I can “be there” to say good night to Rory.
“Did you guys have a good day?” I ask, walking through the hall and out to the awaiting SUV. Braxton doesn’t say a word, but I can tell he’s listening as he sits beside me.
“We did. I finished editing a book, and we went to the park. Rory’s new favorite thing is the slide, and I swear she went down it a hundred times. Oh! And another tooth came through. She now has four teeth.” She smiles, looking so proud, and I feel so damn lucky that my daughter has such an amazing mom.
I connect my AirPods and stay on the phone while Sadie reads Rory a bedtime story and then goes through kissing her good night. And then she points the phone in my direction and says, “Rory, wave bye-bye to Daddy,” and holy shit, my heart implodes in my chest at the word Daddy. It’s the first time she’s referred to me as Daddy, and it’s officially my favorite word.
Rory smiles lazily at the screen and lifts her hand, her fingers squeezing open and closed, and I do the same to her. “Good night, Rory,” I say. “I… I love you and miss you,” I choke out, needing her to know. She’s too young to know the words or understand what I’m saying, but that won’t stop me from saying them.
Sadie swallows thickly. “Night, Gage.”
