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“I have supplies in the car.” She winks. “I know if my Elias is sad about a girl, he needs pancakes.”
Pancakes are our comfort food, our secret code. We used to make them together whenever one of us felt sad. Once, I brought Mackenzie around to our place and Maria showed her how to measure the ingredients and flip the pancakes in the frying pan. Mackenzie had never cooked a thing in her life, and she got so frustrated that her pancakes didn’t flip that she threw the pan on the floor and smashed the handle. Afterward, when she calmed down, we ate the pancakes Maria cooked smothered in chocolate chips and syrup, and Mackenzie gave me a sticky kiss on the cheek and said I was her best friend.
That’s why I made pancakes for Mackenzie at Gabriel’s after Noah and I rescued her from the desert. I thought it might help her remember something good and sweet and happy. But you can’t remember something when you’re living a lie.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask. She’d never come out to the ranch since it had become a ruin – yet another one of Dad’s grand plans that has crumbled to dust.
“This is where you go when you’re upset. I followed you out here years ago – I needed to know where you were slipping off to for days at a time.”
I wince at my stupidity. Of course, Maria would keep an eye on me, make sure I was safe.
Maria folds her arms. “Don’t look at me like that. I wouldn’t have come if it wasn’t important. I know teenage boys need their privacy. I actually thought you might’ve brought your girl out here.”
“Why did you come?”
“Your mother wanted me to find you. She tells me you must be home for dinner tomorrow night. She says she has something to announce.”
I rub my head. The last thing I want is to play happy family with my mother across the dinner table. “I plan to not be hungry that night.”
Maria shoots me that look of hers, the one that never failed to get me to pick up my toys or finish my homework. “It’s not a matter of being hungry. She’s your mother.”
I stare out across the broken landscape of my father’s dream, at fences pushed over, construction materials half-buried in weeds, bare patches where the pasture hadn’t been cared for. Beyond all that is the harsh, alien landscape of the desert. Gizmo’s face appears around the corner of the barn. She meows at me before turning tail and trotting back inside, as if asking me to come and see what she’s found. Out here, with the fresh air and the desert heat bearing down, it’s almost possible to believe Emerald Beach doesn’t exist, and all my problems are a dream. But Emerald Beach has a way of finding you, and I have lived experience of just how quickly a dream can transform into a nightmare.
Noah
We decide to skip school for a couple of days. Antony needs to prepare protection for Claudia at Stonehurst. Normally, I’d be concerned about falling behind, but I can’t muster up a fuck to give. Now that I’ve had actual bullets whiz past my face, I struggle to see the importance of algebra.
I call in and pretend to be Gabriel’s manager needing the rockstar for an urgent meeting, then I hang up and call back, using a deeper voice to impersonate my father saying that I’m taking my son to the office for ‘work experience.’ I can’t believe this shit flies, but you can get away with a lot when your daddy is a senator.
Claudia calls and claims she’s ill. The secretary insists she’ll need to show a doctor’s note when she returns to school. I tell her not to bother – it’s an empty threat. The staff knows the students hold all the power.
We eat breakfast in tense silence. I see the clues to Claudia’s existence hidden in plain sight – packages of Pop-Tarts and cheap cereal bars lined up on the counter, seasoning and sauce packets stolen from school, cans of beans and minestrone soup stacked in the walk-in. Food Mackenzie Malloy never would have touched. Queen Boudica’s food, however, is an expensive organic brand. Gabriel makes a face when he bites into his cereal bar, and goes to dump the rest in the trash. Wordlessly, Claudia grabs it from his hand and finishes it. I guess when you’re paying property taxes on a Harrington Hills mansion on a waitress’ wage you get used to saving food.
I remember seeing her with her plate piled high in the dining hall – unusual for a girl at a school where everyone is obsessed with looks and health food. Yet another piece of the mystery of Mackenzie Malloy that falls into place, even if it leaves more questions in her wake.
I thought I had the measure of this girl, but Claudia August defies explanation.
Antony enters, pulling on his suit jacket. “I need to get back to Tartarus Oaks and start digging around.” He swipes a cereal bar on his way out.
No, you don’t, I want to say. I know my father is behind this. I know because those bullets weren’t just meant for Claudia. I’m worth more to him dead than alive.
I don’t say a thing. Claudia’s cousin makes me uneasy. There’s a hardness in his eyes when he looks at me and Gabriel, like we’re here specifically to fuck up his plans.
And there’s another reason.
He hasn’t recognized me, but I knew his face the moment he stormed into Malloy Manor. He hasn’t put it together yet because I was so careful, but I don’t know how long I have until he figures it out.
I don’t know what will happen when he does.
Claudia’s not the only one with a secret that can get her killed.
I watch her kiss her cousin’s cheek. Her fingers slide over his lapels, touching the edge of the gun he keeps there. She stiffens. I wonder if she knows just how powerful Antony is in this city, just what exactly he does for the family business.
After Antony leaves, Claudia goes to her room to brush her teeth, and Gabriel wanders back to the ballroom. I stack the dishwasher, then head deeper into the house to find Claudia. She doesn’t answer when I knock on her door, but Queen Boudica tears past me down the hallway and somersaults around a corner. I follow her.
As I wander the hallway, I pass photographs of the Malloys. There’s an age gap between thirteen-year-old Mackenzie frowning in her family portrait and the girl I fucked in a panic room, but they really do look similar. That same slight nose, heart-shaped face, and intense ice eyes. The same hair that looks like strands of spun gold, although Claudia could be dying hers. The same defiance burning behind their eyes.
“Meow.” Queen Boudica drops to the floor at the door to Howard Malloy’s study, rolling over to expose her stomach. I bend down and rub her gingerly, unsure if she’ll continue to purr with happiness or if she’ll attack my hand. Something bounces on the rug beside me.
