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Agony broke open in his chest, but right beneath it was rage. She had dared to leave him. How could she have loved him and then left him to forfeit his throne? Scrunching up the note, he threw it across the room.
But the vicious anger drained away almost as quickly as it had come and the tearing agony remained, leaving him raw, shaky and...for the first time in his life...defeated.
He had lost everything...and he had no idea how to get it back.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
‘ILOVEHIM, but he doesn’t love me. He doesn’t evenwantto love me...’ Liah scrubbed the tears off her cheeks, the skin smarting after all the tears she had already shed as soon as she’d arrived home—and her mother had wrapped her arms around her.
It had been a long, arduous journey overnight through the desert in the SUV she’d managed to liberate from the palace with help from her lady’s maid, Maya. She was utterly exhausted now, not just from the physical toll of the eight-hour drive over the rough unforgiving terrain, but also from the emotional devastation Kamal had caused when she had confronted him about his motives...and he’d given her nothing.
She’d been such a fool to think he loved her. That he wanted her for herself, and not simply to keep his throne. What hurt more, though, was the thought that even up to the moment when he’d gone utterly still...staring at her after her question about his feelings had dropped into that awful, heavy silence and he’d said nothing for the longest time...she’d had so much hope. Hope that she’d misread the situation. That it had simply been a mistake. That she’d judged him too quickly. That he’d chosen her because he believed in her, because he believed inthem. Not because he simply needed a convenient bride.
But then it had all come crashing down.
‘You’re a romantic, Kaliah.’
The derogatory note in his voice had hurt immeasurably. Because in it she’d heard that cruel judgement she remembered from the day he’d plucked her off her horse at the Race of Kings. And she had finally realised that, despite everything they had done together, everything they had shared, he still viewed her on some level as a privileged brat.
She’d had parents who loved her, who supported her, who cared what she did and who respected her judgement—who hadn’t abandoned her and forced her to do everything alone. But was she supposed to prove her worth because she hadn’t suffered as he had, hadn’t had to overcome anything like the same obstacles, for the rest of her life?
Far worse than his judgement about her strength of character—which he had clearly decided would never be as strong as his—had been the shuttered look in his eyes when he’d told her all he wanted was a wife, a queen. Not a soul mate, not a kindred spirit, not someone to share his heart with—only his throne. And then she’d understood he would always hold a part of himself back...
She gulped in a breath, the wrenching sobs making her chest hurt as her mother held her tight and consoled her.
‘Shh, Liah, you need to breathe,’ her mother murmured against her hair, her calming scent so familiar.
Liah sucked in a breath past the constriction in her throat, gulped in air and tried to even her breathing. At last, the storm began to pass. Until the wrenching sobs turned to hiccups.
‘You need to tell me exactly what he said, sweetheart,’ her mother said, her warm caramel-coloured eyes so full of compassion and understanding, Liah struggled to hold down another round of sobs.
‘H-he... H-he said love was just a word. Th-that it didn’tmeananything.’ Even now, sixteen hours later, the ignorance of such a statement made her chest hurt. ‘Th-that he just wanted a wife and a queen and a mother to his children.’
The surge of indignation fortified her a little—enough to finally pull herself out of her mother’s arms and sit up on the couch in the Queen’s study. ‘Can you believe it?’ she added. ‘L-like I’m some sort of royal brood mare. Seriously, Mum, can you imagine if Daddy had ever said something like that to you? It’s so cruel and so chauvinist.’
Her mother sent her an easy smile Liah didn’t understand. How exactly was her having her heart ground to dust even remotely amusing?
‘Actually, Liah,’ her mother said, her voice gentle, but that enigmatic smile still in place, ‘It sounds very much like what your fatherdidsay to me when he first demanded I marry him.’
Liah blinked, astonished by her mother’s confession. ‘Hedemandedyou marry him?’What the heck?‘You’re not serious?’
Surely her mother had to be exaggerating, or joking? Or simply trying to make her feel better about Kamal’s cruelty?
Her parents were a great love match, a wonderful partnership. Everyone said so. And she’d seen how good they were together every day of her life. Of course, they had the occasional argument, some of which got pretty heated, because they were both strong-willed people in their own way, but they would never deliberately hurt each other—the way Kamal had so callously hurt her.
But her mother didn’t look as if she was joking. In fact, that annoying smile broadened as she cupped Liah’s cheek and pushed the wet strands of her hair back from her face. ‘I should probably come clean at this point and admit we only got married originally because I was pregnant with you.’
‘W-what?’Liah’s strangled reply bounced off the walls of the quiet office. ‘But...that... That can’t be true. You both adore each other.’
‘We didn’t always adore each other, Kaliah. Nor did we understand each other,’ her mother said softly as Liah’s stunned shock turned to incomprehension. ‘The truth is, there were a lot of ups and downs in the early years,’ her mother added, her tone warm with reminiscence, as if she were reciting a funny anecdote—instead of rewriting the whole history of Liah’s childhood.
‘In fact, I ran away from him too because I was so upset with him. But one thing I always knew was that he was a good man... A pushy, overbearing, dictatorial and arrogant one at times, but still a good man.’
‘But...how did you get past a forced marriage?’ Liah said, still so shocked she could hardly talk.
‘Oh, it wasn’t forced, more expedient,’ her mother said, touching Liah’s arm gently before the smile turned a bit wicked. ‘And your father has always been super-hot, so he was very persuasive.’
‘Eww, Mum, stop! I do not need that picture in my head,’ Liah muttered, feeling like a teenager again, catching her parents necking enthusiastically when they were supposed to be totally asexual.
