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“Felt like a trip down memory lane?” I asked dubiously, yanking my hood up as it started sprinkling rain. “I’m pretty sure Rhett was conceived out here.”
“In the back of my truck,” Mick replied, rounding the car. “Yeah, I remember.”
“I want to go back to your parents’ house,” I said, holding my ground as he came closer. “Right now.”
“Let’s figure some shit out first.”
“There’s nothing to figure out right at this moment,” I argued.
“Thought you wanted to put a plan in place,” he said easily, coming close. “Let’s make a plan.”
“I can’t make a plan out here,” I replied desperately, looking anywhere but at him.
The woods were so familiar. We’d carved our goddamn initials in the tree not ten feet from my front bumper, picked fresh blackberries from the bushes, been bitten by a million mosquitoes.
“Emilia, calm down.”
“You calm down,” I argued nonsensically.
It was too much. The memories were too much. The butterflies, the fear of being caught, the exhilaration when we weren’t. Back then, I hadn’t realized how massive the consequences of our little trysts would be.
“Sugar,” Mick said in exasperation, catching my head between his palms. “Look at me.”
“What?” I snapped.
“What the hell is goin’ on with you right now?”
“Nothing.”
“You started losin’ your shit back at my place, and it doesn’t seem to be lettin’ up.”
“So you bring me to the spot that you know is going to make it worse?” I spat. “Jesus.”
“Didn’t think it could get worse,” he replied, leaning down so our faces were close together. “Can’t figure out what’s goin’ on, so I’m throwin’ shit at the wall to see what sticks.”
“I should have done this right,” I said quickly, staring at his warm brown eyes. “I shouldn’t have just shown up. I should’ve called first, and we could’ve met for coffee or something, and then I could have told you about Rhett, and we could have figured out a plan for you to meet him and spend time with him, and then we could’ve figured out visitation and sleepovers and—”
“Slow down,” he murmured softly, his thumbs brushing over the hair at my temples.
“I just came here and upended your life.”
“Wish you woulda done it sooner.”
“I didn’t have a plan of what that should look like,” I said, almost in a daze. “That I’d have to just—” I shook my head, my breathing growing ragged. “Just give him to you.”
“What the hell are you talkin’ about?” he asked in disbelief.
“He’s never spent a night without me,” I rasped, the thought of it making me shake. “But he’ll have to go with you. You deserve that time with him. I know that. I just didn’t think it through, you know? I just—I guess I just didn’t see a future that we weren’t all together.”
Mick’s face lost all expression as he jerked back in surprise.
“Fuck,” I whispered, the blood draining from my face. “Forget I said that.”
“What, you just thought you’d come back here, and we’d start where we left off?” he asked incredulously, his hands tightening in my hair.
“No,” I backtracked. “That’s not what I meant.”
“That’s what you said.”
