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“You think I’ve been overthinking this?”
She grinned. “Lala, I have never seen you so engrossed in anyone, not even Warren at the height of your relationship, and not even after he asked you to marry him. That says something. Say what you want about Holden, but he’s making you feel things, and that’s not something anyone in this family has had an easy time of since Ryan’s death.” Her smile faded. “We’ve all been pretty much numb for years. Even if it doesn’t work out with Holden, I think you should enjoy this experience for what it is: an important chapter in your life. Chapters don’t last forever. But sometimes they lead to other chapters that lead to happily ever afters.”
“My life is a book? Is that what you’re saying, Mom?” I chuckled.
She laughed. “Every person in our lives comes into it for a reason. We just haven’t figured out if Holden is a supporting character or a leading man for the long haul.”
My father interrupted. “I’ll tell you one thing. If you’d told me years ago that you’d end up with Holden Catalano, I wouldn’t have believed it. I still don’t quite believe we’re having this conversation.” He sighed. “But as I’ve told you before, I trust your judgment, Laney.”
“If she loves him…” Mom said. “She’s just going to have to adjust her expectations about what the future looks like.” She turned to me. “When you were with Warren, you imagined a life where you were at home some of the time and perhaps working part time, with your husband returning from work on the dot every night. But maybe a future with Holden looks different. Maybe it’s not as predictable, but maybe it’s equally as fulfilling. Maybe you would need to take on a little bit more responsibility at home. In the end, if he’s who you were meant to be with, that might be something you’d be willing to do.”
She was right. And I’d been thinking a lot about what a future with Holden might look like, what sacrifices I might be willing to make in order for him to fulfill his dreams. But of course, none of that would matter if he didn’t feel the same way, if he didn’t want me to make those sacrifices. Holden had always seemed to think he might not be right for me. But didn’t I have a say in that?
“I appreciate your perspective, Mom. I always assumed you’d be against the idea of me and Holden, but it’s good to know you’d support me if I decided to do some things differently in order to be with him.”
She smirked. “I should also point out that I ran into his mother the other day at the supermarket.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, it was very interesting. We both sort of looked at each other a certain way at first. Like we both knew what the other was thinking, but neither of us was sure what we were allowed to say.”
I laughed. “Awkward, huh?”
Mom nodded. “Finally, she came out with it. She said to me, ‘Have you talked to Laney lately?’ I asked her why she was asking. She said she was wondering if you’d happened to mention anything about Holden. I admitted that I knew there was something going on between the two of you, but I wasn’t entirely sure of the status with you moving back and all. She said she’d pretty much written off any hope of Holden ending up with a nice girl, and she was hesitant to get too excited about the prospect of him dating you. But she wanted me to know that Holden would be incredibly lucky to end up with my daughter, and she hoped he would change his ways and settle down someday.”
Of course, that made me miss Holden even more. It meant he’d spoken about me to his mom, which I knew had to be a big deal.
I left my parents in the living room and went to the place I often did when I needed to think—Ryan’s old room. I looked over at his bulletin board with all the photos of him and his friends.
“Oh, Ry. I would give anything to know what you’re thinking of all this. I often wonder if Holden and I would’ve had the balls to go for it if you’d been here. We might have been too scared to hurt you. But I’d like to think you’re not upset at us.” Tears formed in my eyes. “I really wish we could talk right now. I wish a lot when it comes to you, big brother.”
I looked over at a photo of Ryan with his arm around Holden. Their eyes looked hazy, as if they’d been drinking.
I took out my phone and texted Holden, unsure whether his gig was over.
Lala: You never mentioned that you told your mother about us.
