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She beamed. “I’m happy and scared, too. But I know you’re gonna be the best dad to our child. Even if neither one of us knows what the hell we’re doing.”
Our child.
It felt surreal in the best possible way.
A disheveled man approached us. “Spare some change?”
“Dude, I just found out I’m gonna be a father.” I lifted my arms up and repeated, “I’m gonna be a dad!”
The man flashed a toothless grin. “Well, that’s great, man.”
I reached into my pocket and handed him a wad of cash. “Tonight’s the best night of my life, and hopefully this makes your night.”
The man looked down at the money in his palm and started to cry. “You don’t know how much this means.”
I patted him on the shoulder. “Take care of yourself.”
“You, too. And congratulations!” he said before limping away.
After he left, the shock started to wear off, replaced by nothing but pure excitement.
I yelled out into the street. “I’m gonna be a father!”
“Fuck you!” someone from one of the apartments across the road yelled back.
Lala wiped tears of laughter from her eyes.
I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead. “Let’s go home.”
***
That night, in Lala’s bed, I lay my head gently against her stomach. I’d been in such a stupor earlier that I’d forgotten to ask how long she’d been pregnant. She told me she was about six weeks along. The idea that her belly would be growing larger by the week brought me more joy than you could imagine. The crazy thing was, in my wildest fantasies, I’d imagined Lala pregnant with my baby inside of her. But I’d never dared to think it might actually happen.
“Who else knows?” I whispered against her belly button. “I mean, besides half of Philadelphia after I yelled it out tonight.”
Her belly shook as she chuckled. “My parents. That’s it.”
A rush of adrenaline hit at the thought of her dad wanting to kill me.
I cringed. “How did your father take it?”
“He was shocked, like I was. But I think when he finds out how you reacted, he’s gonna be just fine. He knows I love you.”
I turned to look at her. “He does?”
“Yeah. I told him. We’ve talked a lot about you these past several weeks, even before I knew I was pregnant.” She massaged her fingers through my hair. “He knew how down I was being away from you. I couldn’t hide it from anyone.”
Knowing she’d told her dad she loved me gave me a sense of pride. No one could argue with that.
“We should probably wait until at least twelve weeks to tell everyone else,” she said.
I nodded. “Okay…so you think it’s too soon to tell even the guys and Billie?”
Keeping this inside for another six weeks would kill me. I wasn’t known for holding secrets very well—just the opposite.
She sighed, looking conflicted. “Well, they say to wait twelve weeks or so, because anything can happen before then.” Lala must have noticed me pouting. “Okay…just the guys and Billie. And your parents. But no one else.”
I smiled. “Cool.”
She rubbed her stomach. “It’s only the size of a bean right now.”
My heart sank as fear filled me. That’s freaking small. So incredibly fragile. The thought of anything bad happening to our baby scared the crap out of me. I vowed not to focus on that and to try to believe everything was going to be okay.
“You’re making me want to bubblewrap you, Lala.”
“But then you couldn’t get at me yourself.” She winked.
“Yeah. What was I thinking? Forget that.” I squeezed her side. “I want you to know something…”
“Okay…”
“Even if you hadn’t told me you’re pregnant… I was going to come see you before I left Philly and suggest that we do whatever it takes. Because the past few weeks have been unbearable. We might have no solid logistical plan, but we’re a team. And now… We’re a family. There is absolutely nothing I won’t do to make this work.”
Lala smiled down at me. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.” I returned my attention to her stomach and spoke softly into her skin. “Hey, little bean. It’s your daddy. I don’t think you can hear me yet, but I want you to know I’m rooting for you. I’m gonna start praying really hard that you continue to grow healthy. I don’t want to disrupt the peace in there so early, but I also want you to get ready for some music in the coming months. Because I’m gonna sing to you, whether you like it or not. You’re gonna come out drumming your little fists, too.”
Lala laughed.
“And I want to apologize in advance for my lack of preparation for you,” I added. “I’m probably the last guy you would choose to be your dad. I almost killed a guinea pig with a Hot Cheeto once. But I promise to love you enough to make up for the fact that I’m not perfect.”
