AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It wasn’t what I expected or wanted to hear. Being a father again and not married? It went against the list.
Still, I didn’t open my eyes when I assured her, “We’ll get through it. I got you.”
“I know. But I don’t need you for this.”
That’s when I did open my eyes. Her face was soaked when she explained, “I’ve already scheduled to terminate it.”
My head spun fast as hell, and I lost my lungs. “When? Where?”
“A clinic back home. This Friday. I’m going from the airport.”
With a pounding chest, I collected her hands, holding them in mine. “Please don’t. Don’t do this. We haven’t talked about it.”
“We don’t need to. We’re good in this space. Adding another unexpected stumbling block may destroy me, Jas.”
“Please—”
“Jas!” She whispered hard, dropping her forehead into my chest. “No. I can’t. I’m still not adjusted to Chi-Chi. It’s just too much. I’m struggling to hold it together…physically and mentally.”
Her words were like blows to the gut, and I was powerless to defend myself against them.
“Baby—”
“Say…” she croaked out a deep cry. “…less. Go, Jas.” She pushed away from me. “You have a plane to catch, and the car is sitting idle.”
I was fucking winded, letting her go and slip inside the car. Something inside of me broke, watching her pull off.
My hope in Ashira left with her in that car. That was where it had begun, and slowly, the emotional detachment began. Then came the physical withdrawal a year ago. The shit bankrupted me of all the patience I’d had for her. For us.
“I fell in love with you without even knowing your name. Your name,” I croaked, the first tear staining my face. “I visited what I thought was your home in the projects and wanted to make love to you there—would have if you’d tried.” Swiping the errant flow on my cheeks, I chuckled at my ignorance, embarrassed by it all. “Ava knew your full name before I did. Did Josie have the benefit of knowing your name before making love to you, falling in love with you, learning your name is on the deed onLake Sha’Ron?” When Jas didn’t answer me, didn’t even react to my pain, I took a step closer, demanding, “Or was that evil reserved for silly, cosmopolitan, ingénue girls from Millburn?”
Jas looked away into the distance.
I stepped closer, face dripping. “Bet you don’t intimidate Josie like you try to do me. Do you? You could have killed Tyreek. Austin needed surgery on his face, Jas.” Another thought zapped through my mind. “How did you even know I was out having dinner with him? The fashion of our communication?”
His nose contracted; demeanor aplomb. “I knew because it was easy to piece together. Your story ain’t no different from any other ditzy broad who choose niggas that don’t give a fuck about them but ignore the ones who sacrifice day in and day out, even if it means making them look like a sucka. All y’all broads are the same. You were gonna let him back in to fuck upall—”
My limbs trembled. “I swear to god I wasn’t going to let Austin back into my life.”
Jas shrugged, both hands coolly in the pocket of his pants. “You go out to dinner to tell him that, Witherspoon?”
I flinched at that name, withered emotionally. “I’ve been so fucking lonely. You’ve basically dismissed me…discarded me like we never had anything real. You made me public enemy number one since last year,” I cried. “And if I could be honest, I felt your withdrawal way before the last time I felt you inside of me. I’ve felt less than a woman…less than a mother after I decided not to take on another child.” I shook my head, emotions reeling after holding it all in for so long. “I don’t care,” I cried. “Okay, so I’m ready now. Maybe I feel the time is right for me now. I’m older now. I have more clarity on who I am, and it’s my choice. Motherhood is my choice. Why should I feel sorry about this?”
I was depleted, out of breath. Jas was silent, immobile for a long while. Then he moved for the car, holding the door for me to enter. An icy chill coated my body as I passed him to duck inside.
Not another word was expressed on the entire ride back toThe Bella.
My body was shifted, and I tensed all over. Dazed, I forced my heavy eyes open and realized I was moving in the shadows of the cabin. Then my brain kicked in, and I squirmed in the arms of a muscular frame.
Chi-Chi!
Mafia!
The 'Ndrangheta!
“No!” my throat decided to work. “No!”
Then sharp bristles of hair splintered my nose, mouth, and chin. My heart was beating outside of my damn chest, armpits misting. Inside the smuggling hairy neck, I recognized the scent.
