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Guilt set in. I’d been doing better with my conduct. Praying, believing, and even abstaining from alcohol and drugs since my release. Flashes of Haris’ loose teeth splayed out on the cemented floor lit in my brain. The memories of his screams still echoed in my ears. It disappointed me to see how easily I got back on my favorite horse.
I nodded, too wounded to be dishonest. I was who I was. She needed to know. The woman was in her second trimester, wearing the ring I promised to marry her with. Who would want to spend their life with someone—thing. Somethinglike me?
“I told you not to go,” she whispered.
Nodding again, I admitted, “I know.”
Ashira wiped her face. “Jas, we’re about to have another baby. We have Nicholas and Noelle to look after, not just Chi-Chi.” Ashira was disappointed in me, too.
Shit!
It fucked me up. She sniffled, wiping her face dry. And my stupid ass sat there with my dick out, still hard at the sound of whispers and warm breaths hitting it. I couldn’t apologize. I was only sorry she had to live with my predilections. I thought I’d changed, and I had. Just not enough.
Ashira exhaled again, eyes falling. Within seconds, she took me into her soft hands again, caressed my shaft firmly. Her eyes appeared when the tip of her tongue swiped me at the head. Then before I knew it, I was in her mouth, both her curled palms jerking me. My head tossed back. Defeated, I didn’t deserve this. I should be begging her to forgive me and to forget tonight ever happened. Instead, my hips stroked up against her loving care. My flesh. I allowed it to enjoy the moment. I couldn’t help it when she necked me so good like this.
When she stopped, my head slowly lifted. Out of breath again, I looked to her for answers. Ashira’s face was blank, but eyes heavy as hell as she stood from her knees and straddled me on the sofa. She reached behind to grab my dick then placed it at the opening of her lips, and sank down on me. I watched her eyes roll back as she did. All the air left my lungs, feeling how wet and hot she was.
Clutching me at the head and shoulders, Ashira pushed tits into my face, feeding them to me like a child. Her belly, our baby, snuggled against my chest as she rode me. Feeling so fucking raw and needy, I sucked on them, grateful for the intimacy of her touch. It humanized me, soften me, reminded me of another facet of my manhood. It calmed the inner demons telling me to fight. She was my sedative, my medicine.
Licking on her, I grabbed her soft ass, pleased by its tightening and jiggle repetition over me. Ashira lay her cheek on the top of my head like an adoring mother to its fragile child. A bit of me felt that way in this moment. I needed her nurturing, her ability to view me as safe and loveable. Her hips began to move faster, breathing harsher. I knew what this meant. She was having a good time. The friction between our private parts had been coming to a plateau. That got me closer to my own as I pushed and lifted her from her ass onto my dick.
“Jas,” she didn’t whisper this time. There was urgency in her tone. My mouth stilled, and I looked up at her. Ashira’s eyes were low, nostrils spread as her face strained. “Did you kill him?”
What?
Of course, I didn’t respond to that. I had none. Then I realized I didn’t need one for her. Ashira squinted even more, biting her bottom lips as she bucked harder down onto me until her spine tremored and thighs contracted.
Once, again, I was right behind her because that’s where she wanted me to be. With her. Ashira, in that quick act of erotica, told me she accepted my shit. There was no judgement to be had.
And.
Fuck…
I was good with it as I pounded into her from beneath, releasing my fear and love for her at the same damn time. Shooting into my love, one sentiment shouted in my wounded brain.
Say. The. Fuck. More.
The End
