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“Your life’s about to change.” I warned. “When the baby comes, you’re going to learn so much more about yourself. It will change the world as you know it.”
“No baby can change me wanting you. There should be no babies between us that we didn’t make together.”
“Yet we’re here.”
“I fucked up.”
“And here I am, a mother to a precious two-year-old.”
“She’ll be three in a few weeks.”
I nodded as though he could see me again. “Yup. And I couldn’t imagine my life without her, Austin. Don’t remember what waking up each day to no thoughts of her well-being and future feels like anymore. You’ll feel the same about your baby with Naomi.”
“Funny, the only person I’ve ever felt that way about is you.”
My line beeped, startling me. I leaped from the water and reached for my phone on a wooden stoop. It was Jas. My heart fell from my chest.
“Au, I have an incoming call. It’s an emergency.”
“Ah—are you shading me? How do you know it’s an emergency if you haven’t answered it yet?”
I rolled my eyes. “Because it’s from a party who never calls this late. I’ll hit you in a few days.”
“I’ll be there forIDC!”
Rolling my eyes again, I sighed, “Later, Au.” Then I clicked over, switching lines. “Hey…”
“Whadup?” Jas’ thick, coarse throat produced. “You hear her, Chivon? It’s Mommy!” He sounded soft yet excited, but I could tell it was forced.
I could hear Chi-Chi’s sniffles in the background. It was after her bedtime there on the East Coast. I’d said goodnight to her while in the studio hours ago.
“Is everything okay?” I panicked.
“Yeah,” Jas’ voice was singsong, soothing. I could envision him holding her small body into his chest on his Wyoming king-sized bed, fitting of the king protecting his princess. “Munchkin had a bad dream. She woke up a little shook and cried for her mommy.”
My eyes burst wide. “Oh.” I wasn’t aware of her having that desire when with her father. I sat up so fast to leave the tub, water splashed everywhere. “Let meFaceTime!” I grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped my body before sitting on the padded chair in the bathroom as the phone dialed Jas’ number.
When he answered, the image of the oversized upholstered headboard appeared. Just as I’d imagined, Jas’ big frame sat against the mountainous pillows, holding Chi-Chi’s little body in a fetal position. She was dressed in the matching two-piece pajama pant set Becky gifted her for Christmas with the Black baby dolls printed all over. I could see the tears rimming her beautiful eyes as she studied me.
“Mommy…”
I nodded. “I’m right here, baby. Did you have a bad dream?” Chi-Chi nodded. I gasped, concerned. “About what?” When she shrugged she didn’t know, I smiled. “Well, whatever it was, you can see you’re okay now. Right? You, Daddy, and Mommy’re right here.”
I watched as she lifted her head against her father’s contoured breastplate. His gaze on her was powerful, I knew. My father’s presence alone, when I was Chi-Chi’s age, could defeat any adversary my young mind could conjure. Jas adored the girl. The fact was both admirable and envious-worthy.
Then Jas’ tenor broke out in a song while gazing deep into her eyes. “There’s one, who is me, and two, who is you. There’s three who is…” He stopped, and his brows lifted. “Who is it, Chivon?” he asked her expectantly.
Chi-Chi yawned, then attempted to sing while rubbing her eyes, “Mommy.”
Continuing to sing, Jas followed up with, “And then we’re a crew.”
“No fear. Not here,” Chi-Chi sang. “Not today. Goodnight.”
They continued together, “No bears. No wolves. Just God’s light.”
Something blossomed in my chest. My baby girl sang the made-up jingle with familiarity and conviction. My spine shivered and it had nothing to do with the water still dripping from my body. It was the sweet sentimentality of their bond. I wanted that for my daughter. I’d had it with my father for so many years and wore it like a security blanket. She was such a lucky girl. Deserving, too.
Then the phone shifted. I didn’t know why until Jas’ raspy vocals could be heard, “I think we’re ready to try this again.” Seconds later, the camera focused again on my sleeping angel in her father’s arm as he carried her to her room. Chi-Chi was out by the time she touched the mattress. I watched as he held the phone as steady as he could with one hand while using the other to pull the blanket over her. Then he padded out of her room. Once in the hallway, I could see his face again. “Thanks for answering,” his voice was low. “She was scared.”
