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Jas shrugged noncommittally. “Jug ain’t Jug. Ain’t been Jug for a minute. I told him to chill. I was good for the night, but he wanted to come out. He picked us up from Teterboro, and now he’s about to run me somewhere. He brought his crossword puzzle books, so…” He shrugged again.
Carrying Chivon’s coat to her closet, I realized his companionable tone.
“I think that’s a good sign.”
“It is what it is. You mind if I chop it up with you real quick?” He thumbed over his shoulder, gesturing away from Chi-Chi.
Quietly, I obeyed, ambling out and heading to the kitchen. Once inside, I plucked a grape from the half-empty charcuterie board I’d been working on almost all day.
“Oh. Damn.” Surprisingly, Jas did the same, grabbing diced pineapples and plopping them into his mouth. “Look…” He chewed and swallowed it all in under six seconds. It was so raffishly masculine. So uncomfortably adorable. “I want to apologize for the other day. My tone was out of pocket and not the way I should feel okay with speaking to you. I was stressed as hell, trying to make the best of the circumstances of traveling with her and Amy at the last minute.”
He swung his arms, trying to explain. “I was frustrated at the time, but speaking to you in that way ain’t something I wanna get used to. To be real, having Chivon cry like that ain’t something I can ignore. I get teaching her tantrums ain’t the way to get what she wants, but as a parent, ‘bout to leave out of town, I couldn’t do that with her in that condition. I’m not built for that. Chivon’s my number one priority in life, making you my number two. If she’s good, I know you’re good. My spirit’s been fucked up about the way that conversation went and…” Using his hand, he gestured between the two of us. “I know we beef on the low because we’ve got our shit, but I can’t have it over Chivon. We’re already unconventional: I ain’t tryna have us dysfunctional, too.”
So badly, I wanted to burst his “holy-rolling” cherry and explain having unwed parents is no longer unconventional in the twenty-first century. Rather yet, I kept my humor to myself and welcomed his humility.
“I appreciate that.” I really did. “I guess I need to be more patient with her.”
“She’s constantly going through changes with our schedules, so I get it. But I kicked it with her little ass twice while we were down in Miami and explained how she wasn’t behaving like a big girl. I told her there will be times she can’t come to work with us, and she can’t cry about it.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“I don’t know if it’ll change anytime soon; she’s only three years old. I figured if I keep reminding her and stick to our plans, it’ll get easier for her and me.”
Again, I nodded, taking all of Jas in. His favorable height, his arresting presence, and the entrancing storm veiled behind his eyes. Beyond that, it was the energy of effort, forward-thinking, morality, and peace he carried, all wrapped in wisdom. It all warmed me suddenly, especially at a time when I wasn’t “centered.”
I hated the vulnerability weakening my heart. It fucked with my mind and had me too distracted by the lining of his full lips contrasted by the dark, full spikes of his mustache and beard. Once again, a flashback of his pillowy mouth drawing pleasure from my tingling nipples took over my thoughts. The sinuousness of his inspired tongue when grazing over every inch of my body.
Jas enjoyed watching me, measuring my pleasure. There was a bit of insecurity in his need to watch. I loved having that power over him. Maybe because it felt like retribution for the shit he was able to pull over my head: his wealth, full identity, murderer-level insanity, and plans to expropriate my family’s legacy. Or perhaps, it was a genuine expression of my adoration for the refined, rehabilitated, and spiritually reformed guns dealer from Harlem. Either way, this brief and unexpected act of humility caused a moment of ceasefire for me.
“Matthew five and nine.”
His thick brows narrowed. “Pardon me?”
With a shaking tenor, I quoted, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
Slowly, the muscles of his face relaxed, his irises darkened, and his voice husked when asking, “You reading your Word, Ashira?”
Bizarrely embarrassed, I rolled my eyes, hating the stupid grin on my cheeks. “I got the email from Ava. I haven’t responded yet, but I’ve been thinking about the destination.”
Jas’ forehead stretched in shock. “So, we’re doing the vacation this year?”
One of the few things Jas and I could agree on when pregnant with Chi-Chi was being a family unitfor her. We’d both been raised as single children and vastly different. Giving our child the world—something more we didn’t have—had been a mutual goal. That something was a solid parental unit. Through therapy, we agreed this would provide an advantage in life Jas and I didn’t have.
For two years, we’d vacationed and struggled to get along outside of passionate, feverish fucking, marking every land charted. This would be the first family vacation where sex wouldn’t be a medicating factor in getting along. So, when Ava sent the email on Jas’ behalf, asking if I was interested in doing it and, if so, to provide destinations of interest, I took my time to think about it. Also, the sender of the correspondence irked the fuck out of me. Why was I discussing such personal matters with the girl who never transitioned from being basically Jas’ pestilent personal assistant?And about that: she was a building firm’s employee. Why had she always handled the matters of his personal life? The bitch infuriated me.
“It was our agreement, was it not?” I scoffed.
Jas nodded with touted lips, eyes swiping the ceiling. “You have any ideas for it?”
Nodding with twisted lips, I murmured, “I was thinking Paris.”
When I got the heart to look at him again, Jas’ eyes appeared dilated, and jaw collapsed. My chest thundered almost painfully, and mouth dried at the sight of the lens flip in his eyes. I caught a flash of the storm.
“I thought I heard you in here!” Noelle sauntered into the kitchen, expression transitioning from confused to elated.
“Young N.O. Elle,” Jas greeted at first with a glower, though not a trace of it in his voice. “What it do?”
She fell into his chest in a tight hug. I watched as my sister’s eyes closed in complete trust and admiration for my daughter’s father.
