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Jug sat back and exhaled. I knew him well enough to see his brokenness. My niggas lack emotional intelligence and proper communication, two skills I’d been working on for years through therapy, and trying to master.
I brought my elbows to my knees. “You know he ain’t mean no offense. Right?” Jug, stuck in his feelings, didn’t answer, but I knew he was listening. “We ya family, bruh. You being down like this been fuckin’ with us, too. Nah, it ain’t shit we cry all day about. But trust: you being sick with some shit we can’t even find a diagnosis for is fuckin’ with all of us. It’s the death shit.”
Jug sucked his teeth. “The ‘death’ shit. ‘Death’ shit,” he repeated with cynicism. “Okay!” He wouldn’t even look at me. But, again, I understood his feelings.
“You scared. I get it, bruh. Shit, I cry when praying for you. That fear shit ain’t no joke when it comes to ya kids and homies. Nobody said this shit would be easy, but we swore we’d ride the damn wave. All I’m saying is be more optimistic.”
Jug scoffed. “Nothing ‘bout Jesus doing a miracle?”
I scratched the side of my face, subconsciously enjoying the feel of the bristles on my cheeks catching beneath my nails. “What He’s capable of is what I’m sure of. It’s what He’ll actually do that I ain’t got a clue on, bruh. But my faith is strong…and my prayers are regular.”
Jug shook his head, exhaling again, though his lungs were weak. If I could guess, he struggled to believe anything good, whether it was my faith or simply his karma. Jug was down on the inside. That was a dangerous valley to reside in.
“You sure you ‘on’t wanna come out East with us?”
His eyes met mine. “You and Shi-Shi?” I nodded uneasily. He wrinkled his mouth. “Shit. I go out there with y’all, my ass ain’t coming back. Y’all niggas’ll kill me! On some heart attack shit.” My head dropped back as I laughed. “I’m better off dying here on U.S. soil from some shit I ‘on’t know than fuckin’ with y’all.” I cracked the hell up. Jug wouldn’t even look me in the face, but the nigga found it funny, too.
I stood. “My bad on Man bailing like that. He ain’t mean no harm. We’re just tryna cope and keep our hopes up.” I slapped my chest, trying to loosen the tension of the topic. “Ya kids’ll eat whether you’re here or in another dimension. But you ain’t going nowhere, man.”
“Word? How you say that with your chest?”
“Because who’s gonna replace you as my protector? Ain’t nobody built for this shit like you.”
I tapped his shoulder, excusing myself, before taking off for the door. I was hungrier than a motherfucker and had a double with cheese, all the way calling my name fromB-Way Burger. The one closest to here in Harlem tasted better than the two near my crib in Jersey. I was ready to chow.
“Shi can.”
I turned back to Jug. “Pardon me?”
He twisted in his chair with poked lips, his head bouncing slowly with confidence. “You know me, fam. A good bitch ain’t good for nothing but a warm and clean house and a warm and clean pussy. I ‘on’t need much. But that one? Shi-Shi built right. She a mean ass dog with hers. Heart is solid like a solider. She got all her shit together but that attitude.”
I scratched my brow. “Jos-Renee had everything Ashira has: a steady job, own her shit, education, keep herself looking good, cook, and clean.” I shrugged, trying not to clown his ass. “What’s the difference between the two women?”
“Jos ass ain’t loyal. She ain’t patient either. You know my code, bro. I may have fucked up, and you took that bid because of my dumb shit. But when you went down, I stayed solid. You came home with the same level of respect and protection you left this bitch with. Jos-Renee?” He spit air, swinging his head. Jug couldn’t even finish his answer. “All I’m saying is Shi-Shi pop mad shit, but her prissy ass ain’t fuck another nigga, and she still here in her own way.”
“Because we got a child together, G. How far can she go?”
“Nigga, I got three baby mommas. All three of them bitches was out of my life and on to the next lick before my kids was one.”
I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb. “You forget I just hemmed up her pussy ass, movie star ex when she was out with him?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Shi a wild one for sure. She ain’t pressed, though. Remember, you ain’t stop fuckin’ lil’ sis untilyoumade the call, not her. You can’t leave a bangin’ ass dime piece like that with no attention and no lovin’. Man, of course, she gon’ fuckin’ roam. She ain’t being tended to.”
“The fuck, Jug?” I barked, surprised and offended by him knowing such personal shit.
“Aye, man,” he snickered, arms moving in the air. “I may be down, but I ain’t out. I know shit. Some shit I ‘on’t say ‘cause I’m still figuring it out, but I know. Shi-Shi got her shit with her, but she been a dog. Shortie ain’t ya average. My money’s on her, bruh. Fuck that.”
“I thought you said we weren’t right together.”
“Yeah…” His head bounced, eyes toward the floor. “…but y’all asses ain’t no good apart either; I see now.”
His ass had been grumpy lately, or at least, that’s what Chivon said about him. I chuckled as I left out for delicious greasy beef.
“And one, and two, and three. Now go!” I snapped my fingers then watched Sherry fall in a swirling maneuver to the ground. “And one, and two, and three. Now go!” I snapped again and observed Kiera do the same. “And one, and two, and three. And…” Then it was my turn to execute the same technique. Once done, I held in half a split position as they were. “Did you see that?”
“Yes!” Kiera cringed and dramatically screeched, then slapped the floor in frustration.
“Your timing at the start was better this time.” I suggested, “Maybe you got anxious about crossing over into my timing and sped yours up.”
