Page 100 of Low love Low fidelity


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She shrugged, sitting back. “Like you said, she’s likely told you everything. Lennox is rebuilding. Recalibrating within, reframing her mind, and reshaping her heart. She’s transitioning into a new woman; one she’s choosing, and not surviving. I’m thrilled to be a part of it.”

I nodded. “So am I.”

“Good. So, don’t interfere with the process by thinking you’re at an impasse.”

I whistled, shaking my head. “It’s kind of hard not to. Elia is a part of me. I don’t know what kind of man I’d be right now, without her.”

“And?”

“And then, I have the love of my life…the masseuse of my soul, telling me Elia reminds her of being robbed of my ‘first.’ That she could never be the first to give me a baby. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this crazy woman. Do you know how much that fucks with my head? How helpless and unfixable that one thing is? I can’t change what happened nine years ago. If I could, it would have happened already.”

“Okay. You’re going to have to process this. If Lennox is upset about not being a first for you, I think she needs to think about that in the reverse.”

“What do you mean?”

“You won’t be a first for her either. She’s married. Just as some women want to be the first and only to give their man children, men want to be the first to soil their women.”

My head fell back, and I cracked the hell up, too loud for a professional setting. When I could catch my breath, I nodded. “Word. That’s true. And I ain’t even trippin’ off that. I’ll take her as she is.”

The therapist winked. “And trust me, she’ll take you the same. I’ve been at this work for more years than I care to share. More often than not, there are couples who are helpless with no tools powerful enough to fix their union. But then, in between, along come souls like you and Lennox. A couple with real issues, but ones that can be fixed with patience and kindness toward one another. Just hang in there. You’ll see.”

Seeing her soft, expressive, vestal smile filled with the confidence of a seasoned woman of an African tribe, my chest began to ease. It was as though she’d injected me with hope. My ass needed it before flying out toKarsyn Coveto record with Dale.

“Damn!” Rachel grunted. “He’s had all thisshiieet. You’da thought five kids lived down here instead of one grown man!”

I walked up the final step from the basement into my kitchen, holding one end of a rolled-up rug while she had the other. My aunt-in-law had been over since this morning, helping me clean out the basement, aka Kelvin’s room. The ungodly and sad shit we found down there. Burned spoons, needles, empty lighters, porcelain bowls, countless empty prescription bottles, charred aluminum foil pieces, and half-filled bottles of liquor. We even discovered what Rachel had to explain to me were burnt light bulbs, something meth abusers used to smoke the drug through a straw. It was an emotional task, disbanding his personal space. Either way, it had to be done.

Kelly-Ann had moved out the week after Thanksgiving. She didn’t have much. Most of her things had been sitting in storage for years, since she’d lost the home Kelvin bought her. Kelly-Ann employed the assistance of Marcia, Marcia’s boyfriend, and his nephew to move her things out. The following day, I received a call from Kelvin. He was still in the residential program, demanding that all of his things go with his mother. He labeled me a few decorative, demeaning titles, all the while needing me to do yet another thing for him. Kelly-Ann was in no position to lift furniture or run up and down the stairs. Marcia had a sprained wrist from Kelly-Ann’s move.

So, as a middle ground, Rachel and I agreed we’d take care of the task. The problem was, I wasn’t available to do this until the following week, which was two weeks after Thanksgiving. They had to wait. I’d been working for both the hospital and Jade’s impending salon business. I’d also been packing my things around here, too. Life had been moving on the fast track for me.

“Okay!” Rachel panted after we dropped the carpet at the curb in front of my house. “That’s it for now. I’ll get this shit over to the shed in the back of the house till Kelly-Ann decide what she’s going to do with it.”

My phone pinged with a notification as we trekked up the driveway for the door. It was an email notification. “You want a bottle of water?” I offered Rachel.

“Yeah. I’ll take one. Gonna grab my purse from the living room while I’m at it.” We walked inside and I headed for the fridge to grab the water. “You know that Scott’s been a trooper through all of this,” Rachel noted when I handed her the bottle.

My mouth twisted with sadness. “He has. A little too much.” Scott’s room was still intact. I’d been having him spend nights at Terry’s mother’s place for days at a time, strategically. I didn’t want him to think he was being kicked out. In fact, I hadn’t had to kick anyone out. When Kelly-Ann decided to go, her son wanted to follow suit. This thing had been working out for me, putting the anxiety I had after meeting with my divorce attorney last month to rest. But Scott was a delicate matter. “I just hope he isn’t saving face for me. The kid has been my protector for too long. It’s not fair to him.”

Rachel finished gulping back water. “Naw. I spoke to Mitchie. She said he done picked out a room over there. Fighting his cousin that just moved in for it.” She laughed.

Mitchie was Terry’s mother, and Scott’s maternal grandmother. We’d been in touch a lot over the years. She was more hands-on with Scott than Kelly-Ann. Terry was blessed to have her. Mitchie and I had been in talks about me transferring custody of Scott back to her soon.

“Yeah.” I snorted, rolling my eyes. “He told me. I think it’s cool how he’s getting his mother back and a cousin his age, all under the same roof.”

“So, what’re you going to do? You know, I was just telling my cousin, Sandy, this family must be cursed.”

“Why?”

“Because of all the shit we done been through, starting with Kyle getting killed like that…Kelvin losing theLeagueand getting on drugs bad. And now we’re losing you.”

I scoffed, “I don’t think your family considers me divorcing Kelvin a loss.”

“And that’s the problem. Them dumb fucks ain’t know how good they had it with you.” She offered her hand. “Well, I still wanna be your friend. Maybe if I’m in the area of the hospital during the day, I’ll stop by for lunch.”

I took her hand with a smile. “Thanks, Rachel. Thanks for everything. Most importantly for being you.” That was all I could say. I wouldn’t tell her that though I’d still been working, I’d submitted my letter of resignation the week after Thanksgiving. My last day at the hospital would be December thirtieth. I was generous with giving them time to find my replacement. However, I had loads of vacation time accumulated I was still considering what I’d do with.

“Alright, girl!” She grabbed her bag and sauntered to the door.

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