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Snickering, she shook her head. Why was my heart pounding? Mouth dry out of no damn where? I needed something from her. When I heard her come in last night, I let go of a fucking sigh I didn’t know I was holding. I thought for sure at one point she’d been turned off and decided to stay at her hotel. My thoughts went to how I’d get her things left in the house to her. Lennox still had my ass strung up like a love-struck kid. She had to know I’d never hurt—
“At first, I wondered if I should have run to East Orange for a gun, then drove back toSamsarawith a deadly vendetta.” My body steeled next to hers, hand clasped over hers.Damn!Was I so eager, I went too hard?Shit!I knew it. I knew I made the wrong call. Knew I should have been satisfied with her agreeing to the week and gone at her pace. “It humanized me…humbled me,” she murmured, facing her lap. But then, Lennox went quiet for a while, and my lungs disappeared until her next words. “Gave me a rare feeling of not being above reproach. It was a human touch, a familiar, primal interaction still settling in my mind. But the irrational part of me feels I…need more of it.”
I couldn’t breathe when I asked, “More spankings?”
A gust of amusement shot from her nose. “Not ina—I… I’m not saying ‘please, daddy, spank me. I’ve been a bad girl.’ I’m saying, I feel like I had human contact from it. I didn’t know you had that type of kink in you either. It scares me, but…” She slowed again. “It reminds me of how sheltered in place I’ve been physically and emotionally.”
I understood but pushed. “What does that mean?”
“I mean hanging with the girls was cool as usual. We laughed, reminisced, and caught up. Good times. Still, they treat me like a fenced animal; something I’ve caused. But it’s the only way I can be around them. I don’t want to come home year in and year out, and cry about my shit. Coming back to Jersey is my escape from the madness.” Her eyes crawled up to my face. “Being with you…” She busted out laughing. “Spanked by you.” That made me laugh, too. “In some ‘I’ve finally lost my mind’ way, it made me feel alive. I want to be free. Alive. You know?”
I cupped her chin and leaned down to kiss her soft lips. Centimeters from meeting them, Lennox sucked in a breath and shivered at the same time. Her fingers curled around mine in a tight squeeze as our mouths caressed each other slowly. Her other little hand cupped my jaw, making my dick stiffen.
I pulled back. “I don’t want you to go. Feels like you just got here. We didn’t spend any time together.”
“I know, which is why I wanted to have dinner with you tonight.”
It wasn’t enough. With Lennox, it was never enough. We’d gotten back in contact about three years ago. Because she lived in North Carolina, it was impossible to see her. Throughout the years, I manufactured ways to be in the same room as Lennox; sometimes, even from a distance. It was hard going at her pace. Nonetheless, I knew if my endgame was forever, it was at her comfort that I’d get there.
But when I have her so close like this…
All the goodwill of passively listening and understanding was hard to practice. I wanted to bury Lennox in my chest and hold her there until my last breath. I wanted her in my arms to be adored and coddled. I wanted to eat her pussy until she cried from joy. I craved for her to one day feel loved and appreciated by all who knew her, especially me. I wanted to become one with her, fuse souls until the day arrived for us to meet our Maker.
“C’mon. I’m not trying to spend my last few hours with you in the back of a small Indian restaurant.”
Nodding, Lennox looked stuck. I shelled out a few bills for the check then helped her into her coat. On our way to the door, her stroll stopped abruptly.
“Oh, no,” she murmured.
Then I saw it. From the door and front windows of the restaurant, gallons of water spilled from the sky.
I went for my phone. “I can order you anUber.”
“And what about your bike? We came together.”
“I’ll drive behind you?”
“I’m not leaving you to drive in the rain alone.”
My forehead went tight. “I can’t leave theMultistradahere. The neighborhood’s mild and all, but baby girl needs supervision.” Rubbing those lips I couldn’t stop staring at together, Lennox’s eyes went to the rain beyond the restaurant. “I’ll call anUberfor you,” I repeated.
Her head swung to me, curls flying in the air. “No. I’m coming with you.”
“You sure?”
She nodded. “I’ll put my purse in the storage space. That way my phone won’t be damaged.”
“You sure?”
“Are you a broken record?” She grabbed my hand, walking toward the door. “Let’s go.” Lennox waved to the smiling waitress behind the counter. “Thanks for everything. The food was delicious!”
Then we dashed outside, hand-in-hand, to quickly stash her bag, throw on our helmets, and mount up on my bike.
ChapterFive
At night, in the pouring rain, the ride was joint-tensing. I kept my eyes closed as I lay against his broad back while he guided us through the quiet, suburban town. Riding on his motorcycle in the rain was a different experience than it was going to the restaurant. Going felt like a classic, romance movie. Returning to the house inSamsararesembled apocalypticism. But I knew I was safe. It concerned me how much I trusted Tobias.
For years, I fought against the instinctive draw to his calm, yet in-charge, persona. Since the first day I met him, I sensed his strong determination and independence. Well before I learned his story of coming up without his parents, I could see the guy exuded fearlessness and an old charm that could only come from long-term survival. Tobias chased me from the mall, all the way to my grandmother’s small, storefront church in East Orange where he played the organ for almost the whole summer. Little did I know, those short months were the most pivotal ones in my life.
