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“No. The one who used to wear high heels all the time like Pastor Williams,” he recalled.
“Oh. Evangelist Monroe.”
“Yeah. Her, too!” Tobias pushed up from his elbow next to me, straightening his spine. I missed his heat immediately. “Yo, she was a baddie, too.” I rolled my eyes. If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard that coming up. Crazy thing was, both my grandmother and the evangelist were well aware of their favorable aesthetics. “They used to check a lil’ nigga out.” He stroked his beard. “They ain’t press me, but they knew the kid was ready, whenever and wherever.”
Lying flat on my back now, I hollered toward the ceiling, holding my belly. Tobias’ tone and demeanor were rather calm, but his “fantasy” tickled me.
“You would have cheated on me with my grandmother and her bestie?”
“Nah. This was before I laid a finger on you. This was when I first started playing there. They wanted the kid.”
“Oh, stop. You were a cute kid and all, Tobias, but I think it was your talent that got them. Grandmother used to say your hands were anointed.”
“Damn.” He shook his head. “If that’s the case, I got lucky. It ain’t easy playing for preachers. You gotta learn their cadence and pace. Then when you get one like your grandmother with a voice...” His eyes closed and head shook. “Damn. That voice, man. She was powerful.”
“Still is.” I nodded. When I could feel his questioning gaze on me, I added, “I went to see her.”
“When?”
“Yesterday, after you left for your day.”
“How is she?”
“Healthy—well… You know her condition. But she’s physically healthy and safe. That’s all I can ask for.”
“Word,” he breathed.
“I cried,” fell from my lips.
Tobias’ eyes flashed wild. “Cried.”
I nodded. “Apparently, this trip back home has not only gone by in a flash, but it’s been unusually emotional for me. Your spanking evoked something…opened the floodgates of my tears.” That was a partial joke.
Quickly, yet smoothly, Tobias leaned down next to me, kissing my cheek. “That was not my intent.”
“I know. But damn were you good at it!” I teased him. Tobias’ smile was wry. “How many women have you done that to?”
“Lennox,” he groaned.
“I’m busting your chops, Tobias.”
“Don’t.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t wanna represent anything negative to you. I’m trying to appeal to your heart.”
“Okay, Mr. R&B lyrics!” I joked. “You wanna appeal to my heart, huhn?”
Tobias went motionless next to me. The masculinity he exuded had me feeling more self-conscious than I appeared. I was still unaccustomed to this proximity. And Tobias liked to touch me. Gentle, innocuous grazes or kisses on the cheek were doled out heavily tonight, since laying out in front of the fireplace. I wondered if this was his norm with women. All night, I’d been considering if I liked it.
Even now, Tobias’ eyes traced my face. “I love you,” sounded to have crawled out from the depth of his soul. My throat closed and belly turned over. Tobias’ expression was blank when he added, “I’ve been in love with you since you were nineteen, and ain’t nothing changed.”
“That was so long ago, Tobias.” My limbs were shaking. “We were kids.”
“I was a man. Shit,” he scoffed. “I created a whole baby. I wasn’t a kid. I was just young and reckless. Misguided. I should have never let you go.”
I felt a sensation lance through my chest. “My grandmother should have never flipped on you. I’m sorry for that.”
